I have observed in my son’s generation (he is in his mid 30’s) that Western men seem to be more caring of each other and nurturing of their intimate relationships and friendships than are men in my own generation, and certainly more than men in my parent’s generation. They also seem to be more directly involved in the care of their children and want to have close relationships with their children; most do not appear to view the hands-on raising of children to be solely a woman’s job. Observing these changes makes me hopeful that men, too, are learning to value the importance of connection.
Paradoxically, we have also seen in the United States the rise of a white, male-dominated far right that is exclusionary, individualistic, anti-feminist and is moving us away from connection toward alienation from the rest of the world and self-destruction. Perhaps this extreme is a reaction to profound changes taking place in our society that threaten the traditional locus of power. Hopefully, the political and sociological pendulum will swing more to the left again and centralize, rather than polarize. We can then have fruitful dialogue, hear and respect each other’s differences and connect. The ability to connect with others is more than a core anchor I espouse; as Miller notes, our survival as a species depends on it.
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References
Bergquist, W. a. (2017). Coach-based Consulting. Santa Fe, New Mexico: The Santa Fe Center for Advanced Organizational Studies.
Christakis, N. A. (2009). “Connected; the Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives”. New York, New York: Little, Brown and Company.
Epstein, J. (2006). “Friendship: An Expose”. Boston, MA: Houghton-Mifflin Company.
Gilligan, C. (1982). “In a Different Voice; Psychological Theory and Women’s Devlopment”. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Jarvis, C. (2008). “The Necklace: Thirteen Women ad the Experiment that Transformed Their Lives”d. New York, New York: Ballantine Books.
Jordan, J. K. (1991). “Women’s Growth in Connection: Writings from the Stone Center”. New York, New York: The Guilford Press.
Miller, J. B. (1986). “Toward a New Psychology of Women”. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.
Sapolsky, R. (2018). “Behave–The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst”. New York, New York: Penguin Books.
Schaefer, K. (2018). “Text me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship”. New York, New York: Dutton, Penguin, Random House LLC.
Tannen, D. (2017). You’re the Only One I Can Tell: Inside the Language of Women’s Friendships”. New York, New York: Ballantine Books.
Walsh, M. R. (1987). “The Psychology of Women: On-going Debates”. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
This paper is dedicated to all my groups and communities, both here and abroad.
