My neck became stiff, the disks started to degenerate at a rapid rate. By the age of 18 my C2 and C3 vertebra had fused together. Looking up brought on severe attacks of vertigo, spinning the world out of control, leaving me looking down to find stability. Possible was becoming a bigger problem. My body continued to attack itself and when it grew tired from torturing me, my mind took its turn until it regained its strength to set my body off into another state of paralysis and pain.
Safety only lies in both feet chained to the ground, holding tightly with both hands to the illusion of what is real, looking down, embracing gravity like it’s my captor. I have succumbed to the coping mechanism called the prisoner Stockholm Syndrome, obeying its demands, living its agenda, forming an emotional bond to the disorder.
How does one get from here to what’s possible, where intention and flow blow freely through the body with ease?
Transformation happens in a split second, a blink of an eye, a flick of a switch. It’s transition where time can stretch across a life. The longer it takes for you to split that second in two, see what’s in front of you and make the switch to the other side of ‘what’s possible’…, the longer you remain a victim to the gravitational pull of ‘what is’.
It’s like when you learned to ride a bike. During the transition time you wobbled and fell. You scraped you knees, got back up and tried again. Eventually there was that moment where a second split into two and in a blink of an eye you found your balance. The transformation happened and you switched to a life that had some idea of what balance was. But “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein
It’s hard to keep moving when chaining yourself to the ground and never looking up to see what you might have been, or who you might become if you do. It becomes the habit. Transformation does not happen in a habit. I was challenged by Joe Dispenza to think about “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”, and to be honest I could use the break.
