Safe Zones
By introducing the Eldership programs and the relationship between these programs and a broader spiritual base in many of these programs, we are setting the stage for several final frameworks regarding inter-generational relationships. Specifically, we introduce two other dimensions in setting the stage for effective inter-generational methods of communication and support. These dimensions concern safe zones, rituals and spiritual sandpaper
As we have noted, successful mentoring requires the establishment of mutually satisfying cross generational relationship. Safe zones are where the magic happens. Back to Andrew and Jennie, it was those times when they shared their common love of cooking and had the ritual of going to the farmers market every Saturdays. The drive to Matthews was precious time to share
This could be that special place for breakfast where only the two are invited. Or the time when one of us [JW] found out that their own dad was taking his granddaughter big secret for ice-cream RIGHT before dinner. Safe zones are also where the bonding happens: “I must be pretty special if Grandpapa and I can break a rule and keep a secret.”
Spiritual Sandpaper
We all know that we can’t love everything about the special people in our lives. That we have to pick our battles, and overlook some things, find acceptance. Having unconditional regard is important to build trust and love. One of us [JW] can’t help but remember a particular tough time that her own mother had with her first grandson. She was eager to build a bond with him as a young adult especially since he and his family lived 1,000 miles away. Jack went through quite a rebellious period which included getting not just a few tattoos, but both of his arms tattooed wrist to next.
The family was planning an Easter holiday. How was Jack going to be able to go to The Club for Easter brunch–not to mention, Grandmamas reaction seeing the tattoos that could NOT be hidden even with long sleeve shirts Each of us can offer our own examples and versions of spiritual sandpaper that gets in the way of that unconditional love. Given these sandpapery challenges, we must find ways to make successful inter-generational communication happen. This where we now turn.
