U = UPHOLD
Keep any agreements (do what you say you will do) made with this person, most especially upholding the bond of confidentiality. What happens between you, stays between you, and make sure your word is trustworthy.
You don’t need to be in Las Vegas in order to keep things compartmentalized. What occurs here, stays here. This helps to build trust and is a strong indicator to both people that this is a special relationship.
L = LISTEN
Too often in our zeal to share or form meaningful relationships we skip this critical component by talking or doing too much and not allowing the other person the gift of our time and attention. Listen carefully to everything that is said, and even for what is not said. This is one of the greatest gifts, and rich relationship boosters, you can give another person. It’s also the only way you can really know someone.
We learn when we are listening, not when we are talking. Allow yourself to be surprised regarding what the other person is sharing. After all, they come from a quite different world than you – but at the same time come, at the present time, from the same world as you. This should be more than enough to motivate your own intensive, high-curiosity interest in what they have to say (and what they do).
I = INVITE
Through words and actions, invite the other person into this relationship. Invitations come in the form of interests and identifying common ground, conversation points, and places where you can come together physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and every other way. Invitations can be given through interested questions designed to know the other person better. Draw them in.
There is often reticence by some of a quite different age to “intrude” in your life. You might have to take the initiative. We wonder who took the initiative at Western Washington University to speak through the barrier and later to walk across the bridge and say hello to someone who was much younger or much older. You can cross your own inter-generational bridge – and perhaps even build the bridge yourself!
