Session Seven
I begin this session with Dr. Freud, chatting away about the insights I have gained from this last session. I am hopeful about the new directions in which I can move. I also share my experience of talking to my wife about these insights. She and I consider ways in which we can better relate to one another, especially when either of us is sharing something about what we would to change in our life, or what we hope to happen in our personal future and in our shared future.
Dr. Freud expresses his appreciation for the insights I have gained and the actions I have taken. However, he offers some cautionary notes for me to consider. He notes that happiness is often hard not only to achieve but also to maintain. There is a whole lot of pain in the world right now, and we can’t avoid experiencing this pain and confronting the challenges that elicit this pain. There is also the irony of being unhappy about not being happy.
Dr. Freud notes that it is very tempting to turn back to an external perspective. It is very easy to blame others for our unhappiness. Dr. Freud waxes a bit philosophical for a moment, suggesting that we do possess what he calls “Free-Will.” Our life is not determined by outside forces. However, “Free-Will” requires us to be courageous. He pauses for a moment, whipping away a tear in his eye. This is obviously a point of great personal importance to this gentleman.
We pause for a moment. I then talk with some hesitation, accompanied by some strong feelings, about a moment in my life when I was brave. These are moments when I have done what is right rather than what is easy to do or even what other people expect me to do. I also share a bit about one of my regrets. I have not always been courageous. I have not always been there for my children—or for my wife. I have also sometimes been what I would call “expedient” in my working relationship with other people in organizations where I have been employed.
Dr. Freud listens patiently as I “beat myself up” for a few minutes. He then asks a very important question: “What have I learned from these moments when I have failed to be brave? What did I fear at these moments? What could I have done differently given the size and scope of the challenges I was facing at these moments?” I spend some time considering what I learned at the time or what I might now learn about these moments when courage eluded me. Our coaching session came to a close with me recognizing that I have much to ponder before our next session, which will be the last to be held with me by Dr. Freud.
Session Eight
As Dr. Freud had often suggested during our coaching sessions, the purpose of our work together is not to establish a long-term, dependent relationship. Instead, we would limit our work to that done during these eight sessions. It would then be my “task” to keep working on the insights gained when continuing to plan for my future. Dr. Freud indicated at the start of this session that all of this is in the spirit of claiming “Free-Will” as a coaching client. I am free to do whatever I wish with the work done during these eight sessions. This final session is to be one in which I take “center stage.” I am to report on what I have learned and what actions I might take following the conclusion of these coaching sessions.
