As Breger notes (2000, p. 361), Freud often escaped “into a fantasized ancient world [this] was one of Freuds’ older means of dealing with trauma . . .throughout his adult life he spent hours in his office surrounded by ancient artifacts.” During World War I, for instance, Freud worked closely with Oto Rank, his “faithful secretary” (who later became a famous psychoanalyst), “cataloging his books and fondling his ancient artifacts.” (Breger, 2000, p. 237) Later in his life, Sigmund Freud was particularly engrossed in deep appreciation of and reflections on the history and meaning of his artifacts. He had escaped with members of his family, arriving in London to escape Nazi repression. World War II was just around the corner in London; therefore, as Breger (2000. P. 361) notes: “Little wonder that he preferred to live in this imaginary world than amid the horrors of contemporary Europe.
For Daniel, the artifacts of Dr. Freud turned out to be not just a point of interest (along with Freud’s dapper appearance); they also provided a gateway for Daniel’s exploration of his own valued possessions. What did the objects on his own shelf convey about what he valued? As Ruesch and Kees have noted (Ruesch and Kees, 1969), the “alter” that exists in our home often contains objects that display that which we most value in our life or what our family values. Much as the shields hanging on the walls of a kingdom or church display the values of this domain, so does our shelf (which often is vertical and alter-like) tell us and others who visit our home, what we consider to be important.
The objects on our shelf can be “totems” that contain memories of important past events in our life. The shelf might also contain books that represent something about what is important in our world, rather than conveying something about what we have learned and now know. In fact, it is not unusual for many of the books on our shelf to have never been read.
All of this suggests that it might be appropriate and beneficial for us as professional coaches to invite our clients to examine their own bookshelf and determine the ways in which it is an “alter” on which we have placed things of not just beauty but also value. Perhaps, when we are involved in life planning, an inspection of our shelf is revealing. Furthermore, when we are downsizing at some point in our life, maybe the “junk” on that shelf in our living room is not expendable. It might have become dusty and perhaps even “taken for granted” (and ignored) for many years. But it still might hold great value as a source of important memories and as a display of our personal achievements or of our collective family “shield.”
Lesson Three: Tragic Triangle of Regret, Loss and Anger
Dr. Freud spent a fair amount of time exploring the matter of regret with Daniel. While this attention might surprise some people, it comes as no surprise to those researchers and theorists who are building the new interdisciplinary field called Behavioral Economics. Numerous studies have shown that regret is a very powerful motivator—perhaps more powerful than either the prospect of loss or the prospect of success.
