Given this pattern, Dr. Freud offered an image of pushing off in a boat onto an unknown sea. He was being a bit metaphoric in his description of the swirling sea and the small boat on which I find myself. Dr. Freud described a sea that is filled with childhood fears, pronouncement from significant adults in my life regarding what might happen to me if I am “disobedient,” and the challenges conditions we face right now in a world that is volatile, uncertain, and complexity, He describes a turbulent sea that contains many currents that are pushing the boat in opposite directions.
Dr. Freud pauses for a moment to let is all sink in. He then asks me if any of these forces he has mentioned strike home with me. I shared once again that I was told repeatedly as a child that it is critical as a “grown-up man” to be a solid provider for my family. I also mentioned that I was frightened as a child when my father arrived home from a hard day of work and threatened to quit his job. I remember my mother’s expression of sheer horror when hearing this pronouncement from my father. She never said anything, but her facial expression told me everything I needed to know about what it would be like to “let down” someone I would love someday. I also mentioned that the challenging conditions of volatility, uncertainty, and complexity were quite appropriate given the nature of contemporary advertising — especially uncertainty. Everything in the business keeps changing as our clients change their minds, customers change their minds, and my bosses are always changing their minds.
Dr. Freud listens patiently as I “spill out my guts” about the validity of the turbulent sea he has described. Dr. Freud picks up on the “spilling of the guts” by asking me to attend for a few moments to my own “guts.” Do I feel at all “queasy?” My answer is “Yes”, especially when reflecting on the expression in my mother’s eyes. My guts also seem to seize up when I mentioned the volatility and uncertainty associated with my bosses’ expectations regarding my current priorities and future career pathway in our agency.
Given the challenges I am facing and the potential impact these challenges have on not just my psychology but also my physiology, Dr. Freud suggested that we need to face these challenges and potential impacts in several different ways, including holding on to things from our past while dealing with the present and potential future. His voice softened as he shared some of his own thoughts, feelings, and practices for a couple of minutes.
Dr. Freud pointed to the many artifacts on his shelf. He noted that each of these objects contains a rich and warm history. When things are “challenging” in his life, then he can turn to these objects and recall the message of hope and fulfillment contained in their distinctive history. In this moment of personal intimacy, Dr. Freud used the term “verklempt” to describe the condition that leads him to his shelf of artifacts. I asked him what this word means. He says ”verklempt” is an old Yiddish word from his childhood in Vienna. It refers to the powerful sense of being overwhelmed with emotions. I indicated that I join with Dr. Freud and many other people in feeling “verklempted” right now in my personal and professional life. We both gently laughed regarding my clumsy use of this powerful old Yiddish word.
