Sonya:
“That wise man who might be my mentor once said that we must never compare ourselves to some ideal, for this ideal never exists and we are trapped by this outside-induced goal. There is no ideal mother. And you have already mentioned some special moments you have spent with your kids. . . Have you often taken them to the beach?”
Katherine:
“Yes . . . and we often have been running up and down the beach and climbing on the rocks. And we often just sit on the rocks and look out at the waves like I did in my dream. . . . You know, the girl running down the beach in my dream might not being trying to escape. She might have been enjoying herself. Maybe the freedom inside me gets expressed in my shear enjoyment of time on the beach and watching my children light up while running “wild” – perhaps running free.”
Sonya:
“This dream might be providing you with important guidance. Krishnamurti, my wise mentor, often said that “the greater the outward show, the greater the inward poverty.” You have put on a great show as a highly productive worker; however, your inside self that is associated with your work might be quite hollow. This might relate to your inability to fulfill the wise man’s request regarding your “inside person.” You were still focused on the self you were presenting while walking with him down the beach. It is only when you were sitting on the rocks and simply experiencing what was there in front of you that something about your “inside person” was emerging. While you ran away from this inside person, who was seeking freedom, this running away on the beach was itself evocative of memories associated with other pleasant elements of your inside person. These memories are specifically associated with times when you are being a wonderful mother who is sharing the joy of freedom with her children.”
Katherine is in the midst of full-scale crying. Sonya hands her a tissue and asks if she would like another cup of herbal tea (having already given Katherine a cup of tea when she entered the office). Katherine accepted the tissue and the tea. She sat quietly with Sonya for several minutes, then got up holding Sonya’s hand, and left the office. No need for a homework assignment. There was plenty to ponder before the next session.
Session Seven
Katherine enters the office seeming to have a slight air of defiance about her. She opens the conversation with Sonya by making a statement:
“Sonya, I want to check a couple of things with you. I have been doing a lot of thinking and a whole lot of feeling during the past couple of weeks. Several themes keep running through my brain and perhaps my heart. I am trying to figure out whether they come from me or come from you. Do you mind if I spell some of them out and determine where they come from?”
Sonya:
“Sounds like a beneficial plan.”
