At this point, Sonya invited Katherine to describe and analyze other recent instances when she has been able to say “No” or reframe her response to the request (as she did with her friend). Katherine concluded the session by suggesting her own homework assignment: “I am going to jot down notes in my diary regarding how I best say “No” and set boundaries in my current job” I will bring these notes to our next session. Sonya agreed that this was an excellent but challenging assignment and indicated that she looked forward to reviewing this list with Katherine. Sonya also reminded Katherine that this next session will be the final one, so Katherine might want to also take some notes about what she has gained from these coaching sessions.
The session ended with Katherine once again warmly shaking Sonya’s hand and saying: “I guess my ideas are ultimately my own. But thanks for helping me give birth to them.” Katherine leaves the office with diary in hand.
Session Eight
Katherine entered Sonya’s office with a full diary and a resolute air about her. Almost immediately after sipping on her herbal tea, Katherine spoke up:
“Sonya, I decided to combine my two homework assignments into one project. First, I recognized that I have been focusing during our sessions on what I can do right now to make my life a bit less insane. I have come to recognize that thoughts about changing jobs is actually an escape from confronting and seeking to improve my current job. And I can work on current relationships with my kids right now rather than waiting until I get a new job. I think this refocusing of my work with you began when you referred to your mentor’s belief that we should first attend to right-now rather than the future.”
Sonya:
“That’s not quite what Krishnamurti has said. But it is close enough. And I am pleased that you are facing your current challenges rather than looking into the future. So, what’s on your list? And did you identify some of the moments when you have been successful and pleased with your work and relationship with your kids.”
Katherine:
“Yeah. Let me first talk about my children. I realize that a couple of times I have set up my computer on the kitchen table after dinner and began to do my work alongside my kids, while they were doing their homework. This seemed to be a big success for all three of us. We were all focused on our work, but also occasionally broke in to tell a joke or comment on the way we are solving a problem. After about an hour, the three of us would take a break and get a snack. Then about another half hour of work for each of us, and off to bed. You know, we could do this more often. I notice that my kids often seem to have the greatest amount of homework on Wednesday night. So, the three of us could set aside this evening each week for our “kitchen table study hall” as the three of us have called this session together. . . . This seems to be a way in which I can combine my work with my family time. I know we need other time together that is just for fun rather than work, but these kitchen table sessions can also be of value.”
