Sonya:
“I love the way that you have reframed this challenge of work/family relationships. Much as you have done in shifting work for your friend to a teaching session. What else is on your list?”
Katherine:
“I like the term ‘reframing’. It’s like what I do when taking pictures. I look at the image on my smart phone and then move my phone a bit to get a different image that I like better. I am reframing the picture, much as I can reframe with my friend and children. So, there is another reframe I plan to do in my job. Since I am apparently good at preparing proposals, I am going to write one that focuses on my job. I am going to suggest to my boss that I cut back to ¾ time and begin working with our head of HR to do some training of administrative staff and faculty at our college on how to write effective proposals when seeking to obtain outside funding. Our college is struggling to make our financial ends meet and federal dollars are harder to get these days. It makes sense for us to request nonfederal dollars for new programs and research at our college. This means that we must write compelling proposals. And I can make this happen. This all came out of our discussion during the last session about working with my friends.”
Sonya:
“Glad to know that this was a successful session for you. Are there other items on your list?”
Katherine:
“Yes, there are several more. I won’t bore you with all of them. Some are rather mundane, such as setting up a clock on the wall of my office, so that I can point to it when I tell someone in my office that it is time for me to head home. [Both Katherine and Sonya briefly laugh.] A much bigger item on my list concerns my friends at work. I know that they care deeply about me and are concerned about how I am coping with my divorce. I also care deeply about them and at times feel like I sacrifice too much in attending to their needs – like I have done with my friend who needed help writing the proposal. I have decided that I want to ask them for help in firming up my boundaries regarding work. I will tell them about the conversations I have had with you. And ask them to help me remember to set aside time for my kids and for my own alone time. This will hopefully mean that they will not only be more respectful in asking for my assistance but will also be pushing me not to take on too many formal and informal assignments at the college. Once again, this action comes out of my conversations with you about my feeling of sometimes being burdened by my friends.”
Sonya:
“I think this was mostly your own solid work, reflecting between our sessions on the emotions associated with your friendships. How about one more item on your list. I am very impressed with the hard work you have put into this assignment.”
