The third dimension (attitude) identified by Watson can’t be seen or viewed either as a snapshot or a movie. Attitude is felt but not seen. It concerns perspective and “frame of mind.” As I have already noted, Chris Argyris and Don Schön (1974) offer a distinction between “espoused theory” (what we say) and “theory in action” (what we do). Attitude is inferred from how people communicate with one another, manage conflicts, solve problems, and make decisions. Attitudes are seen but rarely articulated. As the old saying goes: “Watch what they do rather than what they say.” This saying can even be directed toward our own attitudes: “Watch what I do rather than what I say.” For Katherine, a change in attitude is manifested in her focus, with Sonya’s guidance, on what has been working in her life rather than what she might do in the future. A focus on the here-in-now (Krishnamurti) is complemented by an appreciative perspective (Cooperrider and Whitney, 2005). Katherine is encouraged by Sonya to identify and learn from the moments in her life when she is successful. Sonya is helping Katherine discover and appreciate the times when and places where “she is doing it right!”
Katherine might find that her structural changes and changes in process don’t all work as planned. Her children might not want the “regiment” of a prescribed “kitchen table study hall” or a Friday evening “Fillm night.” They might prefer spontaneity. Similarly, the friends of Katherine might not be too keen on taking on the “burden” of ensuring her work/life balance. They are Katherine’s “friends” not her “counsellor.” In the midst of all these possible sources of resistance, Katherine should be taking notes. Her diary can now be filled with “lessons learned” and modifications to be made. She might even set up a new set of appointments with Sonya—or at least one follow-up session—to review what has occurred and what might be done differently.
The one thing that hopefully will not change is the attitude that Katherine has adopted from her work with Sonya. Ultimately, it is Katherine’s establishment of a new mindset that Krishnamurti’s perspective has the greatest potential impact on her life. It is in Krishnamurti’s focus on experiencing that she finds a leverage point for identifying what is most important in her present life. For Katherine and other personal coaching clients It is in the moments of immediate Flow, and the experiencing of Awe that one finds arrows pointing to the purpose and source of meaning in one’s life. Within the framework of experiencing rather than thinking about or talking about one’s experience, one finds, as did Katherine, that there are ways to enhance one’s current life rather than remembering and returning to some life being lived in the past or seeking to somehow re-invent one’s current life in the future,
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