Katherine and Sonya now went through the rest of Katherine’s second list, and generated insights about how Katherine really moves through her world of educational administration, interpersonal relationships, parental relationships, religious affiliations, and, basically, her relationship with herself. Sonya continued to point out the strengths that Katherine brought to her relationships. However, Sonya also pushed back at what Katherine was saying at several points during this third session—knowing that Katherine appreciates the “honesty” that she associated with disagreement.
At the end of this session, Sonya has another homework assignment for Katherine. This assignment is greeted with enthusiasm by Katherine, though she assumes that this assignment will be even more challenging than the first two assignments. The assignment was actually not that difficult. Katherine was to compose another list. This list was to contain the various roles she is now playing in her life.
“What are the labels that might be assigned to you by people in your life? What do you call yourself when other people ask: “what do you do?” When the obituary is written about you after you pass away, what will be the elements contained in this document to describe who you were during your lifetime. If you constructed a shield representing the values for which you stand and the person identify you wish to guard at all cost, what would be portrayed on the shield.”
Sonya noted that Katherine didn’t have to respond to all these options. This wide array is being offered to give Katherine great latitude in preparing a list regarding her many identities. As soon as Katherine settled into her car to return to work, she pulled out that small pad of paper from the glove compartment that she always keeps in her car when compelled to write down a note or two. Katherine started scribbling down some ideas regarding who she see is—especially those related to her job.
Session Four
When Katherine entered Sonya’s office, she noticed that Sonya had a small bookcase over on one of the side walls. Katherine asked Sonya if she could walk over to this bookcase and look at the objects Sonya put on the shelves. There was a small statue of Buddha, a collection of seashells gathered in a small ceramic bowl, a picture of two small children, a book by Krishnamurti and a book called Love and Will. There was also a Bonsai tree sitting on top of the shelf. Katherine asked Sonya what these objects represented for her. Sonya was eager to share:
“Actually, your question is directly relevant to what we will be focusing on today. For many people, there is an alter in their home. This is not an actual religious alter. Rather it is a bookcase or a small table on which precious objects have been placed. We can often tell what is valued by a person by looking at their bookcase or table. While I want to focus on your list during our session today, I would be pleased to share a couple of things about what I have placed on this bookcase, since you asked. The seashells were gathered by me during a very special time when I was living by the ocean. They bring back memories of wonderful times spent on the beach—much like you shared about the ravine at your college. The picture is of my two children, who are cherished by me. My book written by Krishnamurti obviously represents my respect for his work. The Love and Will book is by a famous existential psychoanalyst called Rollo May. My own quest for a different way to view the world and be in the world began with my reading of this book.”
