Katherine indicated that she appreciated Sonya sharing something about herself:
“I know that we are supposed to focus on me. However, it is wonderful to know a little bit about what you value and what brings you to the work you are now doing.”
Sonya (with a smile on her face):
“It is always a relief to say a little bit about myself, after listening to the wonderful stories told by my clients. And now it is time to hear from you . . .”
Katherine (with her own smile):
“Yes, I know it is all about me!! [Both Sonya and Katherine gently laugh.] I found this latest homework assignment to be both challenging and enjoyable. I began by identifying the many roles I play at the college, then shifted to how my friends see me, and finally took on the difficult job of identifying activities and achievements that would appear on my obituary. However, late last night before going to bed, I drew a shield on a piece of flip chart paper that was left over from a planning session I had conducted last week. It was on the shield that I placed six words that really hit home. These words all began with “C.” They were character, caring, committed, concerned, complex, and a strange sixth word: convoluted. I don’t know where this sixth word came from. I’m not even sure what it means. But there it is . . . Convoluted!!”
Sonya asks Katherine to share some of the items on the list she prepared about work. Then she inquired about the list Katherine created based on what Katherine imagined her friends would place on the list. After clarification regarding some of these roles and images, Sonya asked Katherine about her obituary. While the first two lists were presented by Katherine with some energy and even enthusiasm, the list of obituary items was presented with considerable hesitation and some emotions.
Sonya commented on the differences in Katherine’s presentation of the three lists:
“It seemed much easier for you to present the first two lists. Perhaps these lists represent your current identities and are related to the self that you present in public. The obituary list seems to be not only focused on the future, but also on your more private self. The obituary list also seems to be closely aligned with the six “Cs” on your shield. Am I correct in my perception?”
Katherine is silent for several moments and then comments:
“Yes, I think you captured something of what I was struggling with.”
Sonya:
“I suspect that your struggle has partially to do with the fundamental sense of self that are to be found in your obituary list and on your shelf. Krishnamurti suggests that while we may have many different displays of self when operating in the world, there are several fundamental features that underlie all these selves. He calls these features, “desires.” I think the six “Cs” on your shield represent some of your own desires. While your list of roles played at the college is quite long and diverse, and your list of perceptions held by your friends is also rather lengthy and broad, there are some fundamental features on your shield that may represent your desires. The extensive roles you play at the college might represent your commitment, concern and certain aspects of your caring. The friendship list suggests that there is a different side of caring in your life; this is the deep caring for your children and your friends. The word “character” also suggests something about your internal valuing of purpose and meaning in your work life and personal life. Unless, by “character” you meant that sometime you act weird!! {Both Katherin and Sonya laugh] Perhaps of greatest interest is your other two words: complex and convoluted. These would suggest that you have many different selves and that other people might at times find it hard to “figure you out” or predict how you are going to behave at any one point in time. The people with whom you work and your friends might wonder about which costume you will be wearing when you meet them. Which role is Katherine playing today?”
