In the study conducted by Wright et al (2006) focus was placed on the level of stress that Army couples experiences regarding combat, reintegration, loneliness, sexual frustration, difficulty staying in touch, spouse fidelity, death, injury, psychological problems, and effects on children. There are high levels of this stress and is detrimental to the psychological and physical health of the civilian wives, It is often found out that civilian wives experience greater emotional stress compared to the Solider himself.
Marital distress and instability can have negative effects on physical and emotional well-being. Married soldiers were more likely to report negative consequences, including time away from family/missing important events and the deterioration of their marital relationship and the civilian wife dealing with more than his or her share of the day-to-day responsibilities (e.g., solo parenting, chauffeuring, cooking, laundry, errands, bills, yard work, vehicle maintenance, etc.). When apart, couples are less available to provide one another with emotional support; maintaining a sense of connectedness can become more challenging. Differing time zones, limited access to phones, spotty internet connectivity, and a range of other factors can negatively impact communication when a military couple is apart – often contributing to frustration, miscommunications (Newby et al., 2005).
In Singapore, there is not as much overseas deployment in the army compared to the US. But there are still overseas deployments. It is also a norm in Singapore that it is difficult to be married to a Solider. It is very similar in terms: if a Solider must go, he has to go. The Army is always the first priority. I have encounter cases where the Solider has to be deployed last minute and his civilian wife has to deliver the Child alone. Most common cases are Civilian wives often felt that the Husband is not physically present and is unable to provide emotional needs. Few examples given by the civilian wives are:
- They are unable to plan for anything because their Husband often has to go back to work suddenly and they are unknown of the uncertainty. Even planned holidays may always have the possibility of rescheduling.
- Civilian wives often have to spend special events alone. Birthdays, holidays, anniversary. Their Husband is often away.
- In cases of emergency, the husband is always not an alternative. For example, the Child has a fall in School and needs a parent to pick up from school. The Civilian wife can only rely on herself or other family members not the Husband.
- It is always difficult or impossible to reach the husband. This is because in the military there are certain restricted zones and usage of mobile phones are not allowed. Even mobile phones are allowed, the husband is always busy with training or other commitments. Getting a quick reply is not possible.
- It seems that life is always planned around the Husband’s schedule.
- Even the husband is not deployed, the husband often left the house during early mornings and only comes home late evenings.
- Trust is also an issue where the civilian wives worry about the Husband’s fidelity as he may be deployed to other Countries for months.
