A Case Study
I would like to share a case study of my Client who is working in the Singapore Military.
Mr. R works in the military and recently has been given a new appointment and has been busy. He can only to afford to go back home during weekends. There are times when he is tied up with trainings, so he is unable to go back home. He is rarely able to call or text his wife. Even when he does, usually is around 11 pm or 12 am for around 10-15 minutes as he and his wife need to sleep. Mr. R is newly married, he describes his wife as being understanding and independent which he considers himself lucky as he does not have to face as many issues compared to his colleagues. He shared that his colleagues often have arguments with their wives and the wives demand for them to come home or often ringing them expressing their unhappiness. There are wives who had extra martial affair and some marriages end up in divorce.
However, he shared that recently it seems that his wife has been withdrawn and has less conversations. His wife seems to not bother of whether he contacted her or waited for his call in the evening. When he does go home, his wife seems easily irritated with him and does not have patience with him. When he offered help in doing chores, his wife rejected him and mentioned that it is her daily routine and she is used doing alone. They started to have arguments whenever he is home. Mr. R was not close to his family and did not like to share his personal stuffs with his friends or colleagues.
He decided to bring his wife along into the session. The wife shared in the intake session that she felt that she had been doing her part all along, but she does not feel appreciated or even taken granted for. She felt that she was always giving. The wife mentioned that she felt that she is not emotionally connected with her husband. She felt that it seems that her husband has “resign to fate” not putting in any effort in the marriage. She mentioned she understands the job of her Husband and she has been very understanding and accommodating. She always felt that in a relationship is about give and take. So, she understands the job of her husband and at the same time when it is areas of her shortcomings, she hopes for Mr. R to do the same.
