However, his wife shared that she does not feel the same. The wife shared that she comes from a not so nice family and there are times she often encounters issues with her own family which may affect herself and Mr. R. Mr. R often blame her and argue with her. She felt helpless and hurt by his words. Often when they argued she shared that the words that Mr. R said was hurtful to her which she finds it difficult to forgive and forget. She shared that as much as Mr. R is busy with his job, she felt that Mr. R only care for himself and does not feel important. She shared that Mr. R is unable to use the phone frequently, but he could send her short messages whenever he could. Every night before they sleep, he could always send a note to sum up his day.
She shared that whenever he is at home, he often spends time on his phone and doing his own activities. When she brought that up to Mr. R, he was often unhappy and replied saying that he rarely has the privilege to have free time to do his things. Mr. R often complained that he is stressed and tired from work and did not assist with any household chores. Mr. R only did selectively on rare occasions. The wife mentioned that Mr. R always have the chance to do more. For example, Mr. R could send flowers to her once in a while or get gifts for her, but he never did. It feels to her that he is using his job as an excuse and does not even try.
As often as we hear how demanding military jobs can be and how they may cause relationship problems, it is good to note that what the couple actually did for the relationship or did the Husband tried to think out of the box and maintain the relationship in different and maybe creative ways. Communication is a powerful tool. Communication can be engaged in different ways not only limit to words. The five languages of love by Gary Chapman seem to be a good start point for any couples. To offer a brief explanation of the above case study, Mr. R’s wife has her own emotional needs to be fulfilled, as is the case in any relationship. Based on her sharing, it seems that receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of services are on the list of Mr. R’s wife. Mr. R probably can have better understanding of his wife and he is able to come up with different creative ideas which previously he may did not think of. Mr. R may feel limited as there was nothing much he can do about.
