In essence, we are suggesting that effective coaching takes place in the three interrelated domains that reside at the heart of this model of interpersonal relationships: (1) information (essential features of the current state), (2) intentions (desired state; what we intend to accomplish and/or avoid) and (3) ideas (specific proposals and subsequent actions that are taken to change the current state into the desired state). Effective coaching blends attention to information, intentions, and ideas. The relative emphasis to be placed on each domain depends on the preference and attitude of the coaching client. This does not mean that one only focuses on information with the Golden Yellow, intentions with the Azure Blue, or ideas with the Ruby Red. It only means that we may find some resistance when moving into a non-preferred domain. This might require that we inform our client of this move into a non-preferred domain and the value inherent in the movement to the client’s potential “blind spots” and areas of greatest conflict or confusion.
Effective coaching also balances phases of reflection and action. Frequently, coaching clients will spend too much time reflecting and never move beyond untested ideas. Or they will move precipitously toward action with insufficient attention given to either information or intentions. As we have noted, the interpersonal preferences of clients may cause them to favor some of these domains over others, requiring that the coach help restore balance. It is also important to reiterate that an introverted client might not immediately “show their hand.” If this is the case, then it might be advisable for the coach to move between all three domains with the questions they ask, noting how their client reacts to questions from each domain. Usually, the preferences for one or more of the three domains will appear after a couple of cycles where questions are directed to all three domains.
The Crucial Coaching Questions
With this introduction that is directed at the person doing the coaching, we can now identify some crucial questions that can be conveyed either by the coach or by those of us who will be doing some self-coaching.
We have already suggested that each of the basic preferences is aligned with one of the three domains: Ruby Red (ideas), Azure Blue (intentions), and Golden Yellow (information). There is also a tendency of extraverts to find some questions to be quite challenging, while others are in their “wheelhouse” and are rather readily answered. These questions concern something about which they have probably pondered or about which they have a fairly good picture because it relates to an action that has been taken. Similarly, there are some questions that are rather easily answered by the introvert, because they have often been introspective about these matters while observing and occasionally engaging in the problem-solving and decision-making process of their team. Other questions are much more challenging for the introvert because they must speculate on what might happen if they took action rather than just observed and reflected.
We have gone “out on a limb” in assigning a probable reaction to each of the following questions on the part of the extravert and introvert. Obviously, there are many factors that influence what actually happens when one of these questions is being addressed by those with either an extraverted or introverted attitude. We invite you to offer your own predictions regarding how Hard (difficult, challenging) or Soft (easily answered, accessible) an answer is forthcoming with regard to each question for most extraverts and most introverts. We mark each question: (1) Extravert/Hard [E/H], (2) Extravert/Soft [E/S], (3) Introvert/Hard [I/H], and (4) Introvert/Soft [I/S]
