The Rainbow Relationship
Those with a Rainbow orientation enjoy relating to other people. For the extrovert, this might be a large number of people; for the introvert, it is likely to be a small number of “special” people. The relationship itself is important. It doesn’t have to lead to any great outcomes and can be established even when the participants are not in agreement on everything in the world. The participants don’t even have to share values. Many Rainbow people like to wander into foreign territory and gain a fuller understanding of alternative perspectives. Like Captain Kirk, they thrill in their extraverted journey to “strange new worlds.” As observant introverts, they can often even articulate the alternative perspective or value better than the person holding this perspective or value. This is the true sense of epistemological relativism (Perry, 1998). As introverts, we can understand a different point of view without embracing or acting on it ourselves.
There is more here. The Rainbow person’s interest in (even fascination with) relationships goes beyond interpersonal relationships. Rainbows are often “group freaks!” As extraverts, they actually like to work in teams. As introverts, they delight in watching how an effective team operates. And it’s not just because teams can produce results. There is a genuine respect for the rich insights that can be gained from working with and observing other people who come to the team with diverse perspectives (Page, 2011).
The Rainbow person might even look forward to disagreements and conflict in the team. It is in the heat of battle that we come to a clearer sense of reality and purpose! At their best, Rainbows not only enjoy working in and observing teams but are also skillful in facilitating (extraversion) or providing insightful comments (introversion) regarding the processes engaged by these teams. For the Rainbow person, the motto is: “Let’s Engage Our Heads, Hearts, and Eyes on Behalf of Great Team Functioning!”
There is not just an upside to Rainbow leadership. There is also a downside for both those who are introverted and those who embrace a more extraverted attitude. Like the other three interpersonal preferences, the Rainbow preference can be overused or misused. Conflict is not always productive. Extended team meetings may be energizing for extraverts, but they are not always appreciated by many members, nor are they always productive. The Rainbow person can get caught up in a primary concern for team process rather than outcomes. This is especially the case with introverts. The group becomes “therapy for normal” rather than being a setting in which work gets done. Introverted participants might learn more about themselves and about how team’s function, but they might leave having “wasted their time” when it comes to the extravert-oriented achievement of a tangible outcome.
There is also a tendency toward interpersonal neediness. The Rainbow person is always looking to other people for self-confirmation and the fulfillment of many interpersonal needs. Will Schutz (1994) might suggest that these people enter relationships and teams with a full agenda of interpersonal needs to be met: inclusion, control, and openness. The extravert will take up team time in trying to meet all of these needs. The introvert will become increasingly sullen because no one is trying to help them meet all of these diverse needs.
