Once again, I can move beyond Freud’s rather passive and protective portrayal of dreams. My focus on negative portrayals when things are not going well, as well as the use of positive portrayals when things are going well, serve the function of valuable insights regarding what is working and/or what is not working. The dream can provide guidance as to how best to address these difficult challenges. For instance, I find the appearance of some very dramatic images of illegality and destruction to be potentially of greatest importance as a source of continuing concerns in my life and as a potential source of insights regarding the focal conflicts that continue to linger in the recesses of my heart and soul.
Why do I live illegally in my old homes and envision them being destroyed by a great wave or storm? It might be because I have often regretted having to leave a home that I love. When I was young, my family had to move because of my father’s new employment opportunities. As an adult, I have also moved fairly often and frequently across large distances either because of employment opportunities or because of shifting family priorities.
We now know that regret is a very strong motivator. It is stronger than either the prospect of success or failure. Do I destroy old homes in my dreams because I want to remove a strong feeling of regret? Do strong pulls between priorities in my life leave lingering feelings of anger and conflict? Do I take out these feelings in my dreams by destroying the homes I have left? Do other people similarly destroy their old homes in their dreams as a way to fancifully “resolve” their struggles regarding life priorities?
What then about my dreams of living illegally in one of my old homes? I bring people from my past life into my former residence even though it is now owned by someone else. My current home is perfectly adequate for entertaining friends and family; why then do I entertain them in a home I no longer own? I suspect that this illegality might represent my own self-image of being a fraud.
Like many people, I am not sure that I “deserve” the moderate success I have had in my career or the secure socio-economic position I now have in mid-21st-century society. The “Imposter Syndrome” resides in my heart and soul as it does in the heart and soul of many “successful” acquaintances. Perhaps, I am living illegally in an old home because I am living “illegally” in my current position in life. I might get discovered by the current owners of my former home, just as I might get discovered by “owners” of the society in which I now live.
Furthermore, at some level I want to be the young man who owned the home where I now illegally entertain people. This young person was filled with energy and aspirations. He could do a better job of impressing other people than the current version of myself. While this young man was probably just as much an “imposter” than the current me (and perhaps even more fraudulent), he was sometimes an impressive actor on the stages of higher education, professional psychology and institutional leadership. Today, my stage is much smaller in size. I am primarily a writer of books and essays (such as this one).
Conclusions
Might Freud provide us with insights about old homes in our dreams? Might he suggest that emotionally laded memories associated with former homes get linked with home-related threats in our current life? Would these current-day threats provide a strong incentive for us to move backward at night in our processing of these threats? We distort and exaggerate in our dreams so that we might protect ourselves from the actual threat. Does Freud have something to tell me about my nightmarish portrayals of former homes that relate in some way to challenges I am now facing?
Stepping aside from Freud, do most of us as older versions of ourselves live illegally in old homes or destroy them? Is this one of the ways we come to terms with difficult transitions in our life (Bridges, 1980; Bridges, 2001) and with concerns about our legitimacy (Kets de Vries, 2003)? I’m not sure; however, this exploration of my own dreams about former homes provides me with rich food for thought.
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