In contrast to the cases in which relationships were strengthened by the pandemic, changing life circumstances sometimes exposed unfamiliar, and even repulsive, sides of close acquaintances and others. Said offered an illustration that contrasts the first, quoting another client whose relationship with her husband was transformed and unsettled by the pandemic:
All the time, my husband sits at home like a king or a prince and merely gives orders – and that is also irritating…Said, the moment I leave for work, it gives me space to relax. To ventilate, talk with my girlfriends. Now, when I’m at home…. It’s as if everything is under his camera [lens] and he tells me “Why were you talking so long?” “Who were you talking to?” …The problems that [the pandemic] caused were the opposite of what she had thought [would happen]. She thought that they would enjoy being together, the house would be a warm place, [but] she discovered things that she had not considered.
As this example illustrates, the intensity of being together in the lockdown sometimes changes the balance in a relationship and creates an opportunity to view family members in a new, perhaps more realistic, light, for better or for worse. Orit, for example, offered an example of an adolescent who might not have been referred to therapy in the absence of Covid-19:
… Suddenly when it’s impossible to leave the house, and you can’t stay in your room all the time… suddenly they noticed that he was very dejected, he was feeling very bad about himself, he was very disconnected from whatever was happening around him.
Since this study focuses on the practitioners’ perspective, each of the examples represents an opportunity for therapeutic work and change (For more on the treatment opportunities that Covid-19 created and continues to create, see section on Treatment Opportunities below). From a broader perspective, disruption of the status quo during the pandemic, and specifically during lockdown, frequently leads to serious domestic crises that may include rage and violence.
Several studies published in recent months (e.g., Bhullar, Durkin, Gyamfi, & Jackson, 2020) focused on the increase in domestic violence incidents during lockdown in various European countries, and on the authorities’ failure to control this trend. In Israel, no such study has been published, but the daily press in Israel has reported an increase in the frequency of domestic violence incidents. For example, according to the Ministry of Welfare the number of domestic violence cases in Israel increased 300% during the Corona pandemic in comparison to the previous year (Tamir, 2020).
A unique aspect of the Corona experience involves clients’ self-image and their own feelings about their family members and their environment. Said offered a description:
…I became ill with Corona… I reached Taybeh in my own car, I stood outside my home … [my elderly parents] look at me from the balcony. I say a few words to them and leave. I can’t go inside because I simply want to protect them. [My dad] calls me all the time so that I won‘t feel guilty. Really, I don’t want to feel guilty…I constantly wish him well and pray that it will get better.
Similarly to Said who so poignantly shared how he doesn’t want “to feel guilty,” many clients are aware that the guilt they feel is irrational yet they continue to experience these emotions, especially with respect to close family members in high-risk groups. While no research on this topic has yet been published, it has been reported in the Israeli press (Smechayov, 2020).
