In writing this article, my process was tough and flawed. I usually had other intentions in parallel during the weeks it took me to finish. The quality of my Flow and Intention fluctuated, changing as daily work, unexpected opportunity and choices determined my schedule. These affected the committed time frame and eventually passed the deadline to complete the article. My shifting attention and commitment to Flow over Intention had left me and the people around me without confidence…, without Trust.
The hard part is that I’m not sure if I’ve learned anything. My personal reality is that I hardly ever have a problem with time. I’m usually content while other people are too often disappointed. I’m often criticized for not keeping my word or changing it. My experience of conflict moves through a flowing reality in which none of this is really a problem, and where I am actually operating from my intentions, both promised and unexamined. When I’m asked for things, my Intention is to give people I care about all the help I can. But it’s said that “The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” I’m starting to wonder.
I’ve ruined trust with people I care about and with people I didn’t care about. There are those who never trusted me in the first place, of course. It’s sometimes easier to operate with people I don’t know, but it’s often not long for the bloom to fade from the rose.
Trust is a ship sailing on sea of human differences, conflicts, financial, logistical and personal preferences, arbitrary positions, expectations, agreements, and issues made important for comfort or ego. The diversity of conflicts is both subtle and beyond accurate representation. Yet each can exist in a dynamic of multiple parties and perspectives. To be alone, to Unify Intention and Flow, to develop skills, face obstacles, and to fail are always possible.
As Walt Kelly, of POGO fame said, ‘I have met the enemy and he is us.”
