If I can come to trust now that the enemy is me, will I always be truthful and trustworthy in the future? This isn’t a matter of content or details, but a never-ending question of asking myself, “Who Am I?”
When talking to myself or others, there is a choice. Will I say what I want to say, or do I say what I think the other can hear? What’s the best way for me to achieve Intention and Flow at the same time, as if they were one thing? Trust as my bottom line would have to become an emotional, mental, physical, and mental reality, playing the music one beat at a time. Trust is not pre-determined.
When I trust, am I listening to myself with the outcome I truly desire as focus, or am I trying to prove something? The visceral experience I or you are actually having is the best barometer for what is really happening. Do I have an agenda? Is the agenda rooted in Force and a likely source of distrust?
I mean to have Listening become a decisive practice. Having intentions and opinions scattered and unfocused between private motives and shared reality is another of my trap doors in which motives are driving the car. What matters and flows are no longer available. When I allow too many flows and intentions to guide me, I end up delayed and ineffective.
Sometimes, the listening part of me is dedicated to my greatest intent, but not easy. It seems to require sacrifice, choosing and prioritizing amongst intents. If the listening part of me follows flow, I start to feel like I have no rudder in the river at all. My intentions often don’t seem possible in the “natural” flow. I’ve often rationalized my resistance to flow as the dictates of my intentions, and while alone indeed this seems reasonable, the truth is that I’m never really alone, and my intentions are not all equal.
Listening as the Space Between.
Typically, I order my intentions by what I currently think is best. When I have a goal and no distractions that is easy. It doesn’t matter if I am being with myself or another person. The easy way of flow is to dance with my listening and my intentions. At best, my listening creates the space, the room to choose, between everything. But usually, I choose to create the space with my intent and not flow, and to allow the flow to fill the space that’s left.
