There are also opportunities afforded by the two or three sleep segments that we engage during many (perhaps most) nights. I have often pointed to the frequent breaking of sleep into multiple segments among many people in many societies (Bergquist, 2019a). There is even a word (Dorveille) that is applied to the interesting (even fascinating) appearance of breaks in our nightly sleep (Bergquist, 2023). I have suggested that we do something that is gratifying during the break between these sleep segments. We can also benefit from changing the sleep environment during the second or third segment.
This can mean no longer sleeping with a partner (or beginning to sleep with a partner) during one or more of the segments. It can also mean doing some negotiating with one’s sleep partner (especially if they also find their sleep breaking into segments). The bedroom can be cold during one segment and warmer during a second segment. The window remains open during one segment and closed during a second segment. We pile on the blankets during one segment and take some of them off during a second segment. We might even change sides of the bed or both decides to sleep on the left side during one segment and on the right side during a second or third segment. In short, Dorveille provides a wonderful setting for negotiation and compromise.
There is another option. Our sleeping companion need not be a human being. We can curl up with our cat or our dog. They typically will not object to the temperature of the room or our snoring. They might not even object to their being a second human being in the bed. For our very special pets it is all about bonding with us—and nighttime seems to be particularly important with regard to our pets feeling especially appreciative of time spent with us even though we are all sleeping.
This might mean that our nonhuman companion sleeps at the foot of our bed rather than on our bed; it is interesting to note that even a pet sleeping beside our bed helps us fall asleep. Do we feel more secure with our pet being on watch for intruders or is it simply that bonding by both our pet and ourself increases the secreting of “feel good” chemicals (mostly oxytocin) in both of us (and usually in our human sleeping partner as well).
To Sleep or Not to Sleep: That is the Paradoxical Question
At several points, when preparing this set of essays regarding sleep I have confronted a paradoxical question: do I or don’t I want to sleep? I addressed this question in my essays on managing sleep and preparation for sleep, but want to return to it in this essay because the answer to this question can actually be quite elusive.
The answer might seem obvious; however, if I try too hard when planning for and seeking to get a good night of sleep then I am likely to remain awake. I curse the God of Night (or our sleep partner or our own body and mind) for messing things up. The sense that we have no control over our sleep leads to even greater sleep problems (Bergquist, 2019b). We feel powerless. This leads to the feelings of helplessness, which leads to feelings of hopeless—which leads to sleeplessness.
When our ancestors were living on the African Savannah, it made sense to stay awake when facing a threatening situation. No one should sleep when lions are prowling about. However, as human beings we can imagine that lions are prowling about and this can keep us up at night (Sapolsky, 2004). There are many other threatening entities that can substitute for the threatening lions. Our list of imagined lions includes our own internal inability to control what our body and mind are doing. Our own inability to take control is just as threatening as an attacking lion. Without a sense of agency, we are left alone unable to defend ourself against almost anything on the Savannah (or mid-21st Century life). These threatening situations can keep us up at night!
