According to Cavell, in order for both partners to take this risk, they must at some level (often unconscious) believe that their partner is capable of and willing to undergo the stress associated with this period of testing and transition. Both partners must also believe that the relationship is worth saving. It is special enough to be worth substantial psychic investment. Cavell suggests that these 1930 comedies inevitably end with a remarriage (actually or figuratively) of the couple and with an accompanying new sense of relationship and a heightened sense of sexuality. The couple lives “happily ever after” — or at least until the next remarriage.
The remarriage process in real life resembles that found in the movies of the 1930s. Two partners in a relationship get a psychological “divorce” from one another in order to take a fresh look at the relationship, to tinker with the relationship, and to try out radically new ways of relating to one another and other people. The two partners then come back together in a remarriage, often with a second marriage ceremony, or, at the very least, a second honeymoon. If either partner is unwilling to take the risk of temporary divorce from the other person in the relationship in order to work toward a remarriage, then the couple must consider one of three other options One or both partners may decide to assign the relationship less importance and to invest their interest elsewhere — in their work, in their hobbies, in community service, and so forth. Alternatively, one or both partners may decide to work on another significant relationship. He or she might have an affair, focus on a relationship with one or more of their children, or spend more time “out with the boys (or girls)”. A third option is to get an actual, legal divorce, in order to disengage from one’s partner and not work further on their relationship.
At some point, almost all couples find themselves in a profoundly disturbing and immovable impasse. No matter what they do, they cannot escape; there are no more areas of conversation to open up, no more strategies to try, no more activities to limit. They feel totally stuck. Some couples separate at this point. Many others, perhaps only through inertia or devotion to children or to the idea of marriage, stay together. Most couples simply endure, emerging diminished but essentially unchanged after their ordeal. While the periods of stress and transition are very brief or of minimal intensity for some couples, these periods do seem to exist in virtually all relationships.
