Dave has successfully overcome his drinking problem; however, Kathy still refuses to leave her home, so the two of them must once again reform their marriage if they are to move into a less toxic relationship. They must open up the system that is their marriage and allow in the outside world. Kathy must agree to travel outside their house or the two of them must bring the outside world into their home in a way that is less passive than constant television viewing. They could re-establish relationships with friends (inviting them over for regular activities), build a more varied life for themselves inside their home, or perhaps even invite Dave’s children to spend more time with them. A remarriage is essential for the health of this couple and both partners.
KEY CHAPTER POINTS
Enduring couples:
• Focus on developmental tasks in a stage called performing once norms have been set and are working.
• Frequently readjust and experience one or more remarriages with their partner.
• Find their own special ways to reaffirm the power of long term, intimate relationships and do so with small rituals or habits.
• Wrestle with issues of enmeshment and disengagement and eventually achieve an interdependency between the two.
• Struggle with interconnectedness between the couple and the outside world and eventually identify as either an open or closed couple.
