In addition to this dimension of stability and continuity in the world around them, what seem to be the key ingredients that make for a very long, successful marriage? Obviously, the first ingredient is the physical health of both partners. But there are other factors that clearly contribute to not only the physical well-being of both partners, but also the well-being of their relationship. The long-lasting American and European marriages we just identified would seem to point to not only the influence of cultural and social stability, but the role played by religion (blessed by or at least held together by God) and communality of experience (growing up near one another).
The success of these relationships also can be attributed, according to one or both partners, to such factors as love, mutual respect, humor or the avoidance of conflict. Several of the long-term partners spoke of the need to accept (or ignore) the foibles of their partner, or to accept traditional marital roles (we noted that the wife’s first name was rarely given in newspaper articles). Will these strategies still work with the present day challenging of traditional sex role expectations? Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Baccaglini were right in refusing to offer any advice “in this day and age.”
Several studies have been conducted that concern the ingredients of long-term relationships. Many of these studies yield the image of “golden sunset” relationships: partners who have lived together happily for fifty years or more. These golden sunset mates tend to look more and act more alike after many years of living together. The Duke and Duchess of Windsor offer a classic (or should we say royal) example of the “golden sunset” couple. A full page spread in the New York Times (June 1, 1962, p. 30, col. 1) devoted to their twenty fifth anniversary indicated that “after twenty-five years of togetherness, they have seldom been separated except for illness or emergency. The Duke and Duchess present a picture of affectionate solidarity and upper-crust domesticity. . . . Whatever they appeared to be in 1937, the Windsors seem to be more so in 1962 — he more friendly, more wistful, she more regal and fastidious.” There seems to be an indefinable symbiosis that grows between two people like the Duke and Duchess who have created a golden sunset relationship. This type of close, long-term relationship often suggests that neither partner can die because they are so much intertwined with one another.
