On the one hand, Mary looks forward to the life of “Lucy and Ethel” with nothing but comedic crises and the absence of real-life problems of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Yet, Mary doesn’t see herself (or Ruth) sitting still. As is the case with her current life, Mary hopes to remain quite active and make full use of their best current strategy for renewing their relationship, which is taking vacations together. Like many of the men and women we interviewed, Mary is bringing her current life style into her images of the future. While this is very understandable and appropriate, it will also be important for Mary and Ruth to begin thinking of ways in which their future life together will be different from what it is today, given potential health problems, loss of income, shifting personal values and interests, and so forth.
Other couples we interviewed have already begun to specifically prepare for their “retirement years” together. They are confronting realities associated with money, health, housing and the potential continuing support of their children or pet project, rather than just the hopeful fantasies of their earlier life together. John and Nancy are just such a couple. when asked to describe their “typical day,” John indicated that their days at present were certainly not “typical” of their lives together. This was due to the fact that all the children are now away from home and retirement years are approaching rapidly. Therefore, John and his wife, Nancy, have decided to “put their nose to the grindstone” and pay off their new house in just a few years. In doing so, they hope to increase their financial security for the years to come. Unfortunately, the days that John and Nancy described, consisted of two adults working different hours, passing like ships in the night. In building for their own future, these two people seem to have forgotten their present life together. Perhaps they have grown accustomed to subordinating their own interests to their children’s interests, and have decided (explicitly or tacitly) to continue diverting their attention from themselves as a couple to some other project — in this case, their future financial security.
