Glenda and Kurt’s decision were also impacted by their observation of the styles adopted by other couples they knew in rearing children. If they were going to have children, then they wanted to be different from other young parents who seem to give up everything to have children. Glenda and Kurt wanted to retain at least part of their old life if they were to have children. Glenda indicated that:
. . . part of what kept us from having kids for so many years was that Kurt’s side of the family, well, his one brother has three kids, and his mom was into having grandkids, and it was real important in that family to have kids. And I think that we were kind of saying, well, I was saying: “No, I don’t want to do that. I want to play and be a kid myself!”
Living so close to their own families of origin, being without children themselves and holding down excellent, well-paying jobs, Glenda and Kurt had been able to remain “kids” themselves. As Kurt indicated, they “really liked the lack of having responsibility” that comes with childrearing.
Kurt suggests that their decision to have a child was vaguely formed and never really definitive. As with many couples, the ultimate decision was based on biology rather than economics. Glenda became pregnant. Kurt describes the process:
We never specifically said “Let’s have a baby.” We talked about and we said: “Yeah, we could maybe — we’re in a position where we could have a child now,” but then neither of us really wanted to commit to that. We looked at it realistically as far as what it would mean to our lifestyle, we know. No more just spur of the moment going out with fri-6n_ds or that kind of stuff. We really thought about that, and that made us hesitate. And then, when it happened, it was just lust! [laughs]
At this point, Glenda chimes in: “Like, whoops! [laughs] That was convenient! . . . I think we were getting more and more lax on birth control. We didn’t feel it would be so devastating in our lives if we had a kid.”
