These seems to be three essential ingredients in Glenda and Kurt’s relationship that has enabled them to establish and maintain the performing functions of this development plate. First, they exhibit an accepting and generous attitude regarding competing relationships among other members of the family, as opposed to resentment, possessiveness or competition for attention when a child prefers the other parent in certain settings. Second, there is respect and affection regarding differences between styles of childrearing. Third, there is a willingness on the part of both partners to perform nontraditional roles (for example, Kurt serving as primary parent when Glenda is traveling) Other couples might learn from the example set by Glenda and Kurt
KEY CHAPTER POINTS – PLATE FOUR: CHILDREARING / SHARED PROJECTS
Enduring couples:
• Engage in extensive discussions about how their relationship may accommodate a child (or children).
• Negotiate childrearing and project management responsibilities with each other.
• Devote time, energy and dollars to mutual projects instead of focusing exclusively on childrearing.
• Share moments of mutual admiration for the important job they are doing in bringing up a child or successfully engaging a project in this complex world.
• “Remarry” repeated times as they find new ways to structure their relationship as it is tested throughout the life of the project or the duration of childrearing.
• Seek a third entity to help resolve conflicts: either a person (counselor, relative, friend) or a transpersonal entity (God, fate, psychic, horoscope).
