My Friend is a Palestinian Bedouin: IX Friendship

My Friend is a Palestinian Bedouin: IX Friendship

Intimacy and attachment

Since heterosexual marriage is losing its centrality in Western society, there is an increasing tendency of people to center their lives around  friendship bonds and non-normative forms of intimacy and care (Roseneil & Budgeon, 2004). Friendships vary in their degree of intimacy. Intimacy between same-sex friends was related to self-disclosure (Bowman, 2008). “Subjects high in intimacy motivation reported (a) more dyadic friendship episodes, (b) more self-disclosure among friends, (c) more listening, and (d) more concern for the well-being of friends than did those low in intimacy motivation” (McAdams et al., 1984, p. 828). Friendships though need to be mutual. Perceived partner responsiveness was found to mediate the relationships between self- disclosure and intimacy (Shelton et al., 2010).


In addition, general patterns of attachment influence friendships. Thus, secure attachment was found to enhance more intimacy in friendships (Bender, 1999; Grabill & Kerns, 2000). Securely attached friends rated each other as less hostile and anxious, approached potential conflicts more directly and felt closer to one another as a result of the conflict resolution process (Bender, 1999). Moreover, “individuals with fearful attachment styles showed significantly less hope, self-disclosure, and relationship satisfaction than individuals with secure, dismissing, or preoccupied attachment styles” (Welch & Houser, 2010, p. 351). Attachment is a universal phenomenon (Sagi, 1990), but still there appear to be differences in attachment styles across cultures (Reebye et al., n.d.; Schmitt, 2003).


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About the Author

Daniel WeishutDaniel J.N. Weishut, born in the Netherlands but living in Jerusalem, is a professional with a diverse background. He holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and an MBA in Integrative Business Administration, both from the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, and a PsyD in Clinical and Organizational Psychology from the Professional School of Psychology (Sacramento). He has about thirty years of experience in consultation and therapy with a wide variety of clients and issues, more than twenty years of practice in group facilitation, and over fifteen years of know-how in governance and management in various organizations.Daniel Weishut offers his services as a "Partner on the Way", while taking a world-view that people are diverse but equal. He works with a variety of clients, but his special interest is in work with those who have found themselves persecuted or otherwise in conflict with their social environment, because of their culture, identity or belief system. For example: migrants, expats, refugees, Holocaust survivors, soldiers, pacifists, and individuals from religious, cultural or sexual minorities. Daniel Weishut is a social activist and in this capacity he volunteers as Chairperson of the Israeli Association of Group Psychotherapy, as Member of the Membership Appeals Committee of Amnesty International and as forensic expert for the Public Committee Against Torture in Israel. He also is involved in raising awareness about the situation of Bedouins around Jerusalem; awareness which led among others to the writing of his dissertation "My friend is a Palestinian Bedouin: Challenges and opportunities in intercultural friendship".

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