My Experience of “Language and Communication”
The challenges in this field were cognitive, behavioral and emotional. I needed to learn a new language, not only the words, but also their cultural interpretation. I succeeded in doing so to some degree. I can create a simple conversation in Arabic and can do my shopping without using other languages. I every so often catch myself thinking in Arabic when I am alone. My experience is that acquiring a different language comes with the development of a new part in my identity. It is as if I am a little different when I think in different languages. Still, my knowledge of the language is insufficient for many social situations. I found it disheartening to interpret Bashar’s ambiguous behavioral responses, and often erred in reading the context. Sometimes these situations substantially raised my level of anxiety. For example, I would make some kind of effort and did not know whether he appreciated it or was annoyed. As much as I can understand Bashar’s intention not to hurt my feelings, I usually became irritated for not being plainly told “no” when appropriate (in my culture), because it put me unnecessarily in the position of waiting for or expecting something. During the years, I improved in communicating with my Bedouin friends, and also Bashar became somewhat more direct with me, but until these days it remains a challenge. I feel never certain that I understand rightly and am never sure that I am understood in the way I want to be understood.
