My Hope for Having Children: An Update of True Story of Love, Sacrifice, Faith, Courage and Hope

My Hope for Having Children: An Update of True Story of Love, Sacrifice, Faith, Courage and Hope

But I could not find any evidence that people actively “think” about hope or about using any of these strategies. We do not seem to “think” about whether or not it would be helpful or wise to have “hope” in any given situation. We are either hopeful or we are not. And, if we are hopeful, it (the condition of hope) seems to “automatically kick in” based on a person’s earlier learning.

Hope also seems to be a powerful motivator. C.R. Snyder, a University of Kansas psychologist, posed the following hypothetical situation to college students: “Although you set your goal of getting a B in a class, after your first exam, which accounts for 30% of your grade, you find you only scored a D. It is now one week later. What do you do?” Snyder found that hope made all the difference. Students with high levels of hope said they would work harder and thought of a wider range of things they could do to improve their final grade. Students with moderate levels of hope thought of several ways to improve their grade, but had far less determination to pursue them. Students with low levels of hope gave up attempting to improve their grade, completely demoralized (Goleman, 1995).

This study is not just a theoretical paradigm. When Snyder also compared the actual academic achievement of freshman students who scored high and low on hope, he found that hope was actually a better predictor of their first semester grades than were their SAT scores (which are highly correlated with IQ and therefore widely accepted as a predictor of how successful students will be in college) (Goleman, 1995).

I strongly agree with the researchers mentioned above that the definition of “hope” have learned, religious, and cognitive components because of my own life experiences … when I had hope to have children, hope to keep my triplets growing inside me the longest time possible, and hope for my triplets to stay alive after they were born. For example, some of the cognitive strategies that I used were positive self-talk, healing thoughts, prayers, and reading uplifting books and envisioning hopeful images. These cognitive strategies helped me throughout my high-risk pregnancy and the months after my triplets were born.

Once “hope” became a reality for me, and I was told that I was pregnant with triplets, I was ecstatic and, at the same time, “welcomed” the trust and gift given to me to be a “mother” to three beautiful babies. I have felt immense inner strength to do my best to be their strongest advocate and protector. Yes, having “hope” was a very positive motivator.

Coming from a close-knit family of five – two parents and one sister and one brother, then my siblings getting married and having two children each, I realized the great joy, love, and happiness children brought to your heart.

But since I had “good” internal chains of not jumping into a serious relationship (as Fromm states we have even though we have freedom), I never really allowed myself to get serious with someone, get married and have a family of my own. Therefore, my hope to have children was only a “hope” until I met my dear husband Ruben of 19 years. From our dating conversations, we knew that we both wanted to have our own family someday. After getting married on October 14, 2001, we decided to wait 1 to 2 years to start a family to create memories together and “get to know each other on a more intimate level.”

During December 2002, we decided it was time to start trying to have a family. Five months later, June 2003, I ended up in an emergency room in Turlock, California. This is when my hope to have children began to become a reality.

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About the Author

Maria Calderon-RomeroDr. María Calderón Romero has over 20 years’ experience working with State Government and healthcare as a data consultant and research specialist. She enjoys collaborating with colleagues to fully appreciate (understand, value, perform) and consider the principles of postmodern organizational learning when discussing challenges in their workplace. Dr. María recognizes the importance of enabling each individual to optimize their own learning experiences to feel meaningful in their workplace. She is passionate about enabling others to learn insights about their own biases and assumptions, perspectives, and to learn to be more mindful of what is really happening internally (within themselves) and externally in the workforce.

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