In crossing over the bridge, it was as if we shifted to a different cultural setting. The dream shifted to the next morning, when both groups came back together to “debrief” what had occurred. The other group had remained rather “objective” and content centered. Some of the themes they addressed were identified. And then our group was to report out our “findings.” There was a long pause. Several members of my group simply indicated that it was a very intense session and that they felt uncomfortable sharing the personal nature of what was revealed during this session.
One member of my group who was African American, however, did reveal her very powerful story of her brother getting into trouble, and her own inability to help him. She expressed deep pain and sorrow in sitting back helpless as her brother sunk deeper into crime. She began to cry. Then several other members of my group shared some of their personal stories. I was pleased that they shared but also concerned about our evening session moving beyond the usual boundaries of a graduate course. I offered my own observations regarding what had occurred and spoke briefly about my students (and me) opening to varying extents during our long, evening session.”
I mentioned the transition that seems to have occurred in the way our session took on the characteristics of an African American church services (I have had the opportunity to attend several services). I also mentioned that there were important personal insights gained from the sharing of painful personal experiences during this session. I woke up with a strong statement lingering in my mind: “There is pain that comes with any significant personal growth; and there is significant personal growth that comes with painful experiences in our life.” I spend a few minutes when first awake, reflecting on the painful experiences in my own life, what I have learned from these experiences and how I have “grown” from these experiences.
I suspect that many significant dreams in our life relate to this interplay between growth and pain. This is especially the case with transformation dreams. The journey within the dream inevitably contains hills to be climbed, evil forces to be confronted, and failures to be accepted and absorbed (allowing for new learning).
Untreated Pain and Dream of Helplessness
There are also dreams, unfortunately, where the pain does not seem to be growth-inducing. Rather, the dream leaves us in a state of helplessness. Once again, I can convey something about one of my recent dreams. As a background to this dream, I should note that I had just experienced very painful gout and have endured many incidents of intense (7-8 on pain scale) pain from the gout-inflicted toe. My gout sometimes occurs during the weekend. During the day before I had my dream, the Gout hit hard. It was Sunday when I called my primary care office.
The physician I spoke with couldn’t order the Prednisone I took to ease the pain without seeing me. I would have to wait until Monday. However, I could travel into town on Sunday and go to the Urgent Care center. I saw a nurse practitioner and she ordered the Prednisone. I picked up this medication and immediately took two pills (as prescribed). However, these pills do not relieve the pain; they only reduce the production of uric acid that forms crystals and get stuck in the toe’s joints, rimming the blood vessel—hence the pain. I “lived with” multiple episodes of the pain during the rest of the day and evening. I was told to take ibuprofen, but it did little to ease the pain.
I was frustrated, angry and feeling helpless when I went to bed and eventually fell asleep. I had the following dream about pain and helplessness:
“The protagonist in this dream (was it me) was being harassed and injured by another person. The protagonist was a young man. The harasser even went to the extreme, cutting out the eyes of the protagonist. The protagonist was suddenly in an arena filled with many people. He was pleading with all the people in the arena to receive help and protection from the harasser. No one came forward to help him and protect him. The protagonist finally just found a seat next to someone he knew and broke down in tears. He seemed to be longing for someone very ‘Motherly” to hold him and quiet his fears [powerful, Jungian archetype]. I then woke up in a sweat.”
