In his book Behave, Robert Sapolsky (2017, P. 44) conveys the core idea behind his research that “your heart does roughly the same thing whether you are in a murderous rage or having an orgasm.” He adds that the “opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference”. We now know why human beings are unable to recognise their emotions and differentiate between intense sorrow and joy during the battle. No wonder we feel let down after a game. No wonder we wish, at some level, that the battler would never be over. We will not be able to do our souls work during moments of intense sorrow, joy, love or hate. Ironically, there is an opportunity to turn inward when we are indifferent—or at least at peace with our self.
As warriors we are particularly immune to pain and have a hard time identifying our true feelings. The German martyr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, was by many accounts, one of the great heroes of the 20th Century. He helped to lead the conspiracy against Adolph Hitler during the Holocaust. He wrote a poem about the confusion between joy and sorrow while waiting for his execution in a prison before the end of World War II. He notes that it is often hard to distinguish between intense heat and intense cold when we first touch a hot burner or piece of ice. Intensive joy and intense sorrow have similar properties when first experienced in the midst of struggle. We describe this same type of confusion in the following stanzas (based on Bonhoeffer’s poem):
Both joy and sorrow strike us now.
They each can touch our soul.
Feel joy and sorrow burn your heart.
Like heat and frost’s first toll.
See joy and sorrow hurled from heights.
Past heaven’s cosmic reach.
See feelings paint a flaming arc.
Their light at last will teach.
Compelling, strong, these feelings grow.
Past heaven’s cosmic reach.
See feelings grasp our tender heart
Their touch at last will teach.
Both joy and sorrow strike us now.
They each can touch our soul.
Feel joy and sorrow burn your heart.
Like heat and frost’s first toll.
Joy is enmeshed with fear.
And sorrow can be sweet.
These feelings often intertwine.
Their dance at last will teach.
