Promoting Special Moments
Some participants reported that one of the reasons they disallow technology during mealtime is that it promotes special moments. Those participants believed that mealtime stimulates laughs, fun, and positive memories.
Monica believed that those special moments around the table inspire feelings of happiness.
And it’s just a way for us to laugh off the day, I guess, like happiness. (Monica, 1st interview)
Sally reported that by the time the meal is done her family has experienced lots of special moments, full of fun and childishness.
And we do have lots of laughs and you know there’s uh by the time we finish dinner there’s a lot of silliness going on. Yep. (Sally, 2nd interview)
Olivia described those special moments as an opportunity to enjoy each other’s company with fun.
I think it’s a time to laugh and just to get to know each other and to enjoy each other’s company. (Olivia, 1st interview)
Brie believed that no outside intrusion contributes to those unique memories around the table.
both the laughing, the conversation, and just the lack of outside disturbance or interference (Brie, 2nd interview)
Developing Healthy Eating Habits
Some participants also reflected on the importance of mealtime stimulating healthy habits. They described that when technology is not around they eat attentively; and their children are prone to try new food. Mothers considered reflecting with their family members about what foods are healthy to eat as well as the importance of giving the mind some time to rest from all the agitation from the day.
Monica believed that by disallowing technology during mealtime, she can introduce different foods to her family members and also discuss with them the benefits of those items.
When we’re around the table we discuss a lot about the food that we’re eating. Um, especially when we’re trying the gir-, let the girls try different foods and understand what they’re eating. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Sally reflected on the importance of eating consciously, teaching her family members how to pay attention to what and how to eat.
Mealtime is for eating. That’s the primary purpose. We need to eat, um, and we need to eat mindfully. (Sally, 1st interview)
She described mealtime as a time when se could take the opportunity to teach her family members how to enjoy both their food and the pleasure of each other’s company.
We’re aware of what we’re doing. We’re eating. We’re enjoying the food we’re eating. We’re talking with each other. Um, and we’re doing all of those and we’re not worried about the world around us. And, um, we know that this is our time for each other. (Sally, 1st interview)
Olivia also reflected that when her family eats together they eat better. She perceived her family members being more risk-taking and more willing to experiment with new dishes.
Um, I think good, healthy eating is very important and I think we eat h- more healthy, health . . . more healthfully if you are eating together as a family, um, and they can learn to try new things and be adventurous. (Olivia, 1st interview)
One of the reasons Brie disallows technology during mealtime is due to her belief that this time of the day promotes an opportunity for the brain to take some time out.
Um it it provides I think the brain a rest from all of the information coming in to it. Throughout the day. Um, a rest time to think and hmm. (Brie, 1st interview)
And she continued reflecting about that by describing the importance to teach her family members how to calm the mind for the future. She believes mealtime fosters relaxation and fun.
For fun, for relaxation, for eating, for . . . so I think it’s important . . . To talk about something else, uh, I think it actually is important to teach kids, when they grow up, to learn to take time aside and not just move at a hundred miles an hour . . . and learn how to recoup and rest and . . . for their own health, in the future. (Brie, 2nd interview)
Monica echoed similar ideas to those mentioned by Brie and talked about the difference between eating in front of the television versus eating at the dining table.
When you’re in front of the TV you eat faster, you’re not conscious of what you just put in your body so you’re probably, you’re, your brain probably hasn’t triggered that it’s full. You want to get more food um, yeah. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Engaging and Bonding
Participants also believed that when technology is not around during mealtime, the family connects in a different way. Participants reflected that one of the reasons they disallow technology during mealtime has to do with closer connection, engagement, and an opportunity to get to know family members better.
Monica related her perception around how not allowing technology during mealtime has contributed to her family relationship.
The bonding that comes from that, uh, that we’d just get closer. (Monica, 1st interview)
She observed family members being more involved with each other by giving them their full attention.
I guess a time when we’re looking at each other. We’re present, um and it’s easier to communicate with each other instead of individually. (Monica, 2nd interview)
She reported noticing this bonding by observing how comfortable her children are participating in discussion during the mealtime.
Um, uh, and it keeps us all engaged in the family. So if uh, not only are we bonding and through happiness and love but it’s also a way for us to find about what is happening with the children. Who are they talking to? Who are their friends? Are they good influences or bad? Um Did they make mistakes at school? Which we hope they do but um, uh, th-, but it’s a way for us to help give some other ideas to how they could manage a day. So we hope that we’re creating a table where it’s safe. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Sally reflected on the reason she disallows technology during mealtime is due to the purpose of relating with each other by experiencing some dialogue.
Um, second purpose of sitting around a dinner table is to connect and have conversations. (Sally, 1st interview)
She reported that when technology is not around during mealtime her family members are more involved with each other free of stress.
We’re engaged with each other. We’re aware of what we’re doing. We’re eating. We’re enjoying the food we’re eating. We’re talking with each other. Um, and we’re doing all of those and we’re not worried about the world around us. And, um, we know that this is our time for each other. (Sally, 1st interview)
Alison reflected, noticing mealtime as a place that promotes her children’s relationship increasing as well as the place where her family understands each other.
It gains that closeness. It allows them to, um, engage with one another. (Allison, 1st interview)
It helps them to, um, that they’re, they’re comfortable with one another. (Allison, 1st interview)
Allison believed that the table is the get-together place for her family.
To me it’s just like a gathering place. (Allison, 2nd interview)
Olivia reflected about that bonding when she perceives the family members being comfortable to discuss difficulties experienced during the day and noticing her family members feeling safe to discuss and asking for help.
I think dinners together allow the family to reconnect after we’ve been gone and separated all day long. I think it allows issues or problems that are happening in each of the kids’ lives to be able to be brought to the surface and discussed if they’ve had a rough day at school. It often comes out at dinnertime if they’ve had a conflict with another . . . with a friend or with a teacher, or if they had something happen in school. I think it allows a safe time to talk about those things. (Olivia, 1st interview)
Olivia also experienced this bonding by allowing members to get involved and become more familiar with one another.
I think it’s a time to laugh and just to get to know each other and to enjoy each other’s company. (Olivia, 1st interview)
When technology does not disturb, Olivia is able to observe family members providing full attention to each other, understanding their behaviors and thoughts, and also providing assistance where needed.
For at least that hour, we are having no distractions, only each other, and we’re able to focus on each other and learn more about each other and help each other where we can help them. (Olivia, 1st interview)
Olivia also perceived this family bonding by observing her family members interacting among themselves even when the meal is done.
The meals usually take, take a little while. We don’t just eat and leave. We, we try to stretch it out. Again, we lived in France for a long time, so the, we learned to, to make the meals stretch out and we’ll have desserts and, and sometimes we sit around even when the plates are empty and continue the conversation. That’s how I can see that the bonding is happening, when nobody’s ready to leave, even when the food is gone. (Olivia, 2nd interview)
