Promoting Safety
Participants described that one of the reasons they disallow technology during mealtime is to promote safety around the table.
Monica considered that disallowing technology during mealtime in her family has made them feel secure and protected so that they can engage with each other with no fear.
So it, it’s just a place of excitement for us to find out everyone’s day. Uh, Whether it was boring or exciting but we, we all seem to have fun or something that they heard in the playground or something on the news that we need to discuss. So it’s just a chance for all the activities of the day, that we could have a moment just to, um, so and no but. . . and it’s also too uh I also make it a protected moment too, around the table. So no matter what conversation starts or no matter what question is asked it’s kind of a safe zone. So, it’s where we can just sit and talk calmly, you know, reflect um answer the question to the best of our ability as parents, it’s sometimes hard [laugh] but it, it, it becomes a safe zone so. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Olivia also reported noticing the engagement during the mealtime of her family is promoted by an environment where the children feel free to discuss their issues because they feel safe and secure with the family members.
I think dinners together allow the family to reconnect after we’ve been gone and separated all day long. I think it allows issues or problems that are happening in each of the kids’ lives to be able to be brought to the surface and discussed if they’ve had a rough day at school. It often comes out at dinnertime if they’ve had a conflict with another . . . with a friend or with a teacher, or if they had something happen in school. I think it allows a safe time to talk about those things. (Olivia, 1st interview)
Learning and Sharing
Participants reported that not allowing technology during mealtime has increased the learning among them. They believed mealtime is an opportunity to get to know each other, to focus on what is going on with each family member, and to introduce some family values and traditions.
Monica reported that by disallowing technology during mealtime her family members share more about themselves.
You know, so we, we learn a lot through the kids and what they’re doing. (Monica, 1st interview)
Monica reflected that mealtime provides them with a chance to get to know more about each other’s days, what they like, dislike, what they are doing, and thinking.
But it’s also a way for us to find about what is happening with the children. Who are they talking to? Who are their friends? Are they good influences or bad? Um Did they make mistakes at school? Which we hope they do but um, uh, th-, but it’s a way for us to help give some other ideas to how they could manage a day. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Olivia also described mealtime as an opportunity to find out about what is happening while appreciating each other’s companionship.
I think it’s a time to laugh and just to get to know each other and to enjoy each other’s company. (Olivia, 1st interview)
Olivia stated that having no disturbance during dinnertime, family members have a chance to discover more about each other, being totally present to provide support if needed. She reported that mealtime is a family time.
For at least that hour, we are having no distractions, only each other, and we’re able to focus on each other and learn more about each other and help each other where we can help them. (Olivia, 1st interview)
It’s just a time for us to focus on each other instead of focusing on the people, other people in our lives that may be trying to call us, or text us, or, or games that, that are invading. Um, we’ve got the rest of the day to, to talk to other people. Dinnertime is a time for family. (Olivia, 2nd interview)
Brie also saw mealtime as an opportunity to get to know the family members better and to introduce them to family values and traditions.
You can learn, uh, you can learn about your family more. You can learn each other better because you’re spending that time focused on each other, and so you can learn your family history. I guess it’s just a lot of particular, uh, little things you can pass on to the next generation, when you give it the time. (Brie, 2nd interview)
Pass the values, the history, um, being able to pass on to the next generation, uh, you know, their history and, and values and, you know, not having the distraction, where everybody is together at that time. (Brie, 2nd interview)
Teaching Social Skills
Participants revealed that one of the reasons they disallowed technology during mealtime has to do with the opportunity to teach family members social skills, such as problem solving, social interaction, eye contact, and facial expression.
Monica noticed mealtime as an opportunity to teach her family members social skills.
They learn how to interact, they learn how to sit down and have a conversation. They learn communication; I think it’s so beneficial at so many levels. Um, so yeah. (Monica, 2nd interview)
They learn social skills, like beyond communication, the politeness. (Monica, 2nd interview)
Sally also reflected on the influence of teaching her family members social skills while describing the reasons she disallows technology during mealtime.
Um, but yes, we have lots of funny moments and, and it’s actually you know because we do a um everyone says an experience of something good that happened in their day and something that wasn’t very positive, it’s really . . . it, it’s become a time to brainstorm um solutions for each other. (Sally, 2nd interview)
For her, mealtime promotes a chance for her children to come up with their own solutions while enjoying dinner.
And it teaches them how to contribute to problem, to problem solving. So, it’s not always us that solves their problems and hands them their, their solutions. Its a chance to really contribute to um being a part of solving each other’s problems and, and we do have lots of laughs and you know there’s uh by the time we finish dinner there’s a lot of silliness going on. Yep. (Sally, 2nd interview)
Olivia also reflected on the importance of mealtime as a place to learn about observing and reading people’s expressions, so as a place to teach the children about how to pick up on the nonverbal aspects of communication, and hence promote their social skills.
Social interaction is to talk face-to-face, to make eye contact, to learn how to make eye contact, to learn to read people’s expressions. To learn to look at someone and notice if you’ve hurt their feelings, or if you’ve said something insensitive, or to notice if you’ve made them laugh when you said something good. (Olivia, 1st interview)
For her, mealtime is a place that allows family members to offer support and solutions for social issues that may have occurred while also offering an opportunity for sharing positive things like a good joke.
We ask each other questions about how the day went. Usually, if somebody has a story about something that happened, we can offer help if it’s a problem, we can offer condolences if it’s something sad, we laugh a lot as well. Um, if somebody heard a good joke at school, they’ll tell the joke. (Olivia, 2nd interview)
