Getting to Mutuality is:

An experience, not an idea.

Usually not the result of a process.

Best considered part of the science of how you are being, treating others.

The experience of just what it’s like for me to be with you, you with me, and for each of us when we are with each other.

“Mutuality” happens not just in me or in you, but in the space between us.

If I want it to feel like “us” I need to be paying attention to the nature, the feeling of the space between us.

To create the experience of “Mutuality” is to ask, “Are we in this together?”

I grew up in a ghetto in Dorchester, Massachusetts where there was little experience of mutuality. Everyone had the same religion and somehow knew they were better than other people. My grandfather taught me that men were better than women. America was better than other countries, no questions asked. Over time, it was clear in our family business that money was more important than people. Traveling outside our neighborhood was dangerous.  My world was full of poisoned berries and if I did not avoid the electric fences, the Nazi’s were always at the door.

My colleague in Israel, Shlomo Yishai, introduced me to the importance of Human Mutuality. In conversations, his articles, and book (7) he showed that until economic systems are rooted in human mutuality, there will be wars, injustice, unnecessary bureaucracy and racial discrimination.  I also met and continue to learn from Alexander Berlonghi, a friend, leader, teacher, and consultant in the field of Ontology — the Art and Science of human relationships.  His profound global practice (8) has to do with how people are being with each other.

Over many years, my life became a search for people and places that were kind, not cruel, willing to be intimate without fear, and peace with justice was a noble purpose. Mutuality and experience of “Us” became a Singularity, a way to bring unity out of diversity, a place to belong and to create where I could. Relationship Became the Foundation of Accomplishment.

I’m Not Giving Up My Shot

“I’m not giving up my shot“ is a theme from Lin Manuel Miranda’s amazing play, Hamilton, the story about how to live a life of significance and meaning. Alexander Hamilton (January 11, 1755 or 1757 – July 12, 1804) was a Founding Father of the United States, a statesman, politician, legal scholar, military commander, lawyer, banker, and economist.  He was an influential interpreter,  first secretary of the treasury, created the nation’s financial system and the Federalist Party.

My shot is expanding human energy — my own and others’.  It’s All Energy and It’s All You.



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About the Author

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Charles SmithCHARLES E. SMITH Ph.D Charlie is Executive Editor of the Journal of Collaborative Innovation in the Library of Professional Coaching. A highly-experienced Futurist, Author, and Executive Coach, current interests are in deep dives into the nature of Collaborative Innovation, conscious conversations, and engaging large numbers of kindred spirits and businesses. For fifty years, he has been a personal and leadership coach and organizational behavior consultant stimulating breakthrough thinking, culture change and seemingly impossible results. A graduate of the Boston Public Latin School, Charlie holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Relations from Harvard College, an MBA from the Harvard Business School, a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior from Case Western Reserve University, and a Certificate in Gestalt Methods from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. He was Visiting Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at Sir George Williams University in Montreal, former President of the Harvard-Radcliffe Club of New Mexico, and Editor of Transformation Magazine published by the Library of Professional Coaching. Dr. Smith has written three books, "The Merlin Factor, Leadership and Strategic Intent” "Navigating from the Future," “Don’t be a Noodle in Someone Else’s Soup” and many articles located in the Library of Professional Coaching and Eruditio, a Journal of the World Academy of Art and Science.

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