Much of this integrative social-neuroscience perspective is captured in the field of developmental psychology (though until recently the evolving brain was sometimes ignored). Led by Erik Erikson (1963), psychologists have long proposed that we human beings engaged a series of developmental challenges during our lifetime that are both physiological and social in nature. Furthermore, our ‘Turnings” are frequent and somewhat predictable (at least within specific societies). We change and develop not only as a function of aging, but also as a function of shits in the perspectives and practices of the social system in which we live and work.
Developmental Perspectives
Many of these challenges concern our relationship with other people—beginning with the foundational challenge of trusting other people. Unlike the developmental models that focus on the maturation of our thought processes (based on the theories of Piaget), the models offered by Erikson (1963) and other Ericksonians leave us moving forward to the next developmental stage even when we have not done a very good job of mastering challenges associated with our current stage. Thus, we are moving on from the first stage of Trust, even if we have not found ourselves as young infants in a trustful environment. Like the psychoanalysts, Erikson believes that early childhood experiences have a major lifelong impact on our sense of self and our relationships with other people.
We must move to Erikson’s fourth stage (Industry vs. Inferiority) when focusing specifically on friendships that exist outside our immediate family sphere—but must acknowledge that unsatisfactory resolution of previous stage challenges is still at play. Thus, if we have not been able to find autonomy as a young child and instead live with a sense of shame and personal doubt, then we are likely to find ourselves establishing friendships later in life that lack appropriate boundaries and incline toward dysfunctional dependency.
If we have successfully been able to find initiative (stage three) then during early adolescence, we are expected to find ourselves not just getting out into the world, but also engaging in constructive activities (industry). Alternatively, we feel inferior and incapable of being successful in doing anything of importance in our young life. As I will note shortly, friendships are often initiated and sustained through engagement on shared projects. During adolescence, this shared project might involve joining one’s friends on a sports team or musical group. We might join an interest group at school or simply join with our friends on the Internet building a fictious city together or do battle against evil digital forces. The main thing is that we feel capable of engaging in the project and find good reason to forge friendships on behalf of this project.
Conversely, if we are feeling inferiority and incapable of being productive during our late childhood and early adolescent years, then we likely to rely on other people for support and guidance—including other people of our own age. It might go even further. If we have not done a very good job in later childhood (stage three) of getting out into the world (initiative) then we are likely also to have “failed to launch” our relationships with people outside of our family. Our dependency remains with our family and we find few friends outside this isolated (and often isolating) home constellation.
