Control
As we move to the second stage of interpersonal and group development, the primary concern shifts from the management of Quad One to the movement of Quad Two and Quad Three material to Quad One. We can gain control in a relationship (or group) or increase the control exerted by the other person in the relationship (or other group members) by receiving or offering certain kinds of feedback (Quad 2) and by offering or withholding certain kinds of disclosure about ourselves (Quad 3). Typically, the need for control (either proactive or reactive) by either person in the relationship (or by some group members) is one dimension of Quad Three that is not explicitly disclosed, though it may leak out in dramatic ways in the behavior of each participant during this “storming” period of interpersonal and group life.
While the dynamics of inclusion at stage one are often assumed to be in our own hands, the issues of feedback and disclosure are more likely to be seen as externally dictated. We are trying to find out what the rules are regarding interpersonal conduct, but discover during the second stage that these rules are interwoven in the struggle over control and influence in the relationship or group. During this storming stage we are often fighting about how we are going to fight with one another.
As a result, there is often frustration regarding the offering of appropriate and helpful feedback and disclosure during this storming stage. Ultimately, decisions regarding what and how much to disclose and what and where to provide feedback become internal during stage two. These decisions often require considerable courage, given the absence of any clear group norms and the conflict-filled nature of the relationship(s).
Openness
During this third stage of development, the norms are established for appropriate feedback (Quad 2) and disclosure (Quad 3). Ironically, while the third stage requires externally-based (that is to say, interpersonally-based or group-based) norms and standards for conduct, these norms and standards allow for greater internal control of Quad One and the movement of Quad Two and Quad Three material into the public quadrant (One). The third stage also provides an opportunity for the sharing of interpersonal need for openness (proactive or reactive) and some Quad 4 exploration if a safe and consistent setting (container for anxiety) has been established for this exploration.
