We are eternally vulnerable to other people when we have blind spots about our own behavior. Joseph was aware of this vulnerability. Knowing he is blind or partially blind helps Joseph a great deal, but, as Joe Luft notes, this doesn’t resolve the dilemma. “Knowing that others have blind areas and that they see themselves through opaque lens helps a bit more, but still does not remove the predicament.” Luft offers a partial solution to this dilemma. He begins this analysis by asking a few fundamental questions:
. . . how do I deal with the embarrassing prospect? The answer of course is to get on with the major curriculum, to learn to “know thyself.” How do I begin? The subject, me, is so simple, yet complicated, where do I start? Can I learn about the things I don’t know about myself that others seem to see so clearly, without hurting them or myself? I know a few things about others of which they are unaware—will I have to spill all in order to get them to level with me? Won’t this change my relationship with them?
At this point Luft suggests that we will often opt for caution and leave Quad Two material alone:
Why are people so hypocritical; if they know something why don’t they speak out? The truth won’t hurt, or will it? Perhaps it would be better all around to simply ignore the blind areas and to agree to deal only with what is in the open for all parties concerned. I see no point in embarrassing people by letting them know I know something about them of which they are unaware. After all, we are not barbarians. A man should live and let live by learning how to behave diplomatically. Tact will do the job. Learn to be discrete and tactful and this whole unpleasant half blind affair can be dropped.
However, Luft doesn’t let us off the hook at this point. He suggests that the Blind areas in our psyche will inevitable create problems for us: “Unfortunately, it cannot be dropped. Blind areas increase the hazards of living with ourselves and with others even if it may add a note of unselfconscious charm. Luft not only doesn’t let us off the hook, he also suggests that our blind self is quite large and that it is engaged in most people that we meet: “People who know you well know a great deal about you of which you may be unaware. Even on short contact, another person may discern qualities in you that you are not ready or able to see.”
