What about Kevin’s Quad Two observations, beliefs (assumptions) and feelings about Sheila? She is quite assertive and straightforward—and Kevin appreciates this, especially when she, as a seemingly competent woman, acknowledges that she is not comfortable with financial matters. Kevin is hesitant to share these impressions (and his appreciation) with Sheila, because it might sound condescending (just what a chauvinistic man might say: “I like it when women share their vulnerability.”) This also might not be something of which Sheila is proud, and she might not appreciate his attention to this disclosure (Quad Three) on Sheila’s part.
There are many other things that Kevin is unwilling to share with Sheila: (1) he is threatened by Sheila’s friendship with his boss, (2) he’s not sure if Sheila is being honest about her lack of comfort regarding financial matters (she may be condescending to him —making him feel more at easy by telling a lie about her comfort level regarding finances), and (3) he finds Sheila to be physically attractive and particularly likes the Auburn tones in her hair (he could never share this information with her). The list goes on and on. Kevin is a man who is very cautious about sharing almost anything about another person with this person (this is some of the information in Kevin’s Quad Three). This is why other people see Kevin as “shy” and “quiet” (Kevin has received this Quad Two feedback from other people at the human relations workshops he has attended).
Kevin is particularly reticent about sharing Quad Two information with people who have some potential power over him. And he is even more reticent to share Quad Two information with women—because the rules of society seem to be changing about ways in which men and women relate to one another. Thus, Sheila is at the top of Kevin’s list, in terms of people with whom he is unlikely to share much Quad Two information.
Given the fact that Kevin also feels uncomfortable about sharing information about his own lack of experience and expertise in financial matters (Quad Three), and the inter-dependency that Joe Luft proposes between the four quadrants, it is even more likely that Kevin will hesitate to share Quad Two information with Sheila. Luft would suggest that Kevin’s Quad Two feedback to Sheila is likely to lead eventually to Quad Three disclosure of his potential financial ineptitude to Sheila. This is the power of Luft’s original model—it identifies our fears of interdependence (if I say this, then I may have to say that), as well as the actuality (or potential) of this interdependence, with regard to improvement in interpersonal relationships.
