The New Johari Window #23: Quadrant Two: Interpersonal Needs
Conversely, those with an external locus look to reactive strategies, and try to place themselves in settings where other people will be cognizant of their interpersonal needs and will attempt to fulfill these needs. Those with an external locus, for instance, might seek out a friendly tavern or (at the opposite end of the spectrum) a welcoming church or temple. With these general observations about proactive and reactive needs expression in mind, let us turn specifically to the three interpersonal needs identified by Will Schutz.
Those with a strong need for inclusion and an external locus (reactive) focus must address a fundamental interpersonal issue: “Do they really want me?” This fundamental question is closely tied to their sense of self-esteem and sense of vulnerability. There are two closely related statements: “I want others to invite me to join the group and want others to be involved in the selection of other group members.” “I fear that I will be left out of a group of which I want to be a member or that I will be involved with a group that isn’t really very inviting.”
As we turn specifically to Quad Two, the primary issue is: “Do other people accurately assess the extent to which I wish to be included in a specific relationship [or group]?” If I have a high need for inclusion, then the answer to this question is particularly important. If other people don’t know I want to be included, then they might not invite me in.
A second factor might be even more important: if other people don’t want me to be included in a specific relationship or group, then they are unlikely to invite me in, even if they sense that I want to be included. Similarly, if they do not themselves have a strong need for inclusion, then they are likely to ignore our reactive expression of inclusion needs. On the other hand, if they would like me to be included, have a relatively high need for inclusion themselves, and observe (or infer) our wish to be included, then they are likely to invite us in.