In this essay, I continue by detailed exploration of quadrant three, as I did with regard to quadrant one and two. Once again, I turn to analysis of interpersonal needs. The dynamics of Quad 3 is the opposite of Quad 2 with regard to the fulfillment of interpersonal needs. A’s task in Quad 3 is to actively express her needs to B (and other people) so that B (and others) might respond in a manner that meets A’s needs.
If I have a strong need for inclusion, then the fundamental question becomes: “Do I want these other people to fulfill this interpersonal need for inclusion (as well as other interpersonal needs)?” There are two closely related concerns: “Do I want to determine if I will engage in this relationship or become a member of this group and do I want to determine or at least influence the selection of other participants in this relationship or other members of the group.” “I fear that I will have to be involved in a relationship or with a group of which I don’t want to be a member.”
These concerns about interpersonal inclusion that are housed in Quad Three can take on either a proactive or reactive form. In the case of a proactive stance, I decide not to express my need for inclusion; in the case of a reactive stance, I wait for other people to identify and articulate my need for inclusion. When I am proactive with regard to the retention of a need for inclusion in Quad Three, then it is likely that I don’t want to disclose this need to other people. I take a reactive stance when I have a strong need for inclusion, but don’t express this need (it remains in Quad Three). I somehow expect other people to “know” that I have this need.