This retention of my need for inclusion in Quad Three might be a result of at least three different interpersonal conditions. First, I might not want to enter this particular relationship or join this particular group; hence, I don’t want to disclose my need for inclusion (proactive) or don’t want other people to discover my need for inclusion (reactive). At the heart of the matter is a fear of unwanted acceptance.
Second, I might not disclose my need for inclusion (proactive) or wait for other people to identify my need (reactive), because I am afraid that these other people will reject me and disregard my need for inclusion. This is a fear of rejection. Third, I might keep my need for inclusion in Quad Three, because I assume that other people aren’t interested in my need for inclusion. This would be a fear of indifference.
These assumptions that lead to my reticence to disclose my need for inclusion might prove to be unwarranted. I will never know, because I have never tested out these assumptions. Other people might simply unaware of my need for inclusion, since I keep it in Quad Three. Self-fulfilling prophecies often abound when the need for inclusion is hidden in Quad Three. I don’t disclose my need, because I assume that other people will reject or be indifferent to this need.
Other people don’t respond to my need, because they don’t know of this need (not because they wish to reject me or are indifferent to my need). I interpret their apparent non-responsiveness as evidence of their rejection or indifference. This further dampens my desire to disclose this need for inclusion. And so the chain of the self-fulfilling prophecy is strengthened and unwarranted assumptions are reinforced.
