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The New Johari Window #28: Quadrant Three: Interpersonal Needs

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There is a parallel to our analysis of the self-fulfilling dynamics with regard to the undisclosed need for inclusion or control. Assumptions about other people’s reactions to my openness can lead to my reticence to disclose my need for openness. And these assumptions might prove to be unwarranted, but untested (since I will have never tested out these assumptions by taking action via disclosure of this need). Once again, other people might simply unaware of my need for openness since I keep it in Quad Three.

Self-fulfilling prophecies once again abound. I don’t disclose my need for openness, because I assume that other people will reject or be indifferent to this need. Other people don’t respond to my need, because they don’t know of this need (not because they are “heartless” or frightened of my openness—as I might assume). I interpret their apparent non-responsiveness as evidence of their rejection or indifference. As in the case of inclusion and control, this further dampens my desire to disclose any need for openness on my own part or on their part. The chain of self-fulfilling prophecy is strengthened in yet another way and unwarranted assumptions are reinforced. I know little about other people and they know little about me. My own assumptions are self-fulfilled through my own inaction and failure to disclose my needs.

The Challenge of Interpersonal Needs Disclosure

To what extent do I keep my interpersonal needs “hidden” from view? How close do I play my cards to the vest? With regard to the internal pane of Quad Three (Q3: I) and internal locus of control, I must determine what I want to say, to whom I want to share this information, and in what setting I chose to offer this disclosure. As we look to the external pane of Quad Three (Q3: E) and to external locus of control, I must be concerned about my interpersonal needs “leaking out.” If I want to exert more internal control then I may either have to avoid specific people (with whom I tend to “leak” my needs) or choose, more generally, to remain alone in my life, without much interpersonal contact (other than what is needed for my basic survival).

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