He might come to a profound recognition that he pulls back from new challenges because he lacks self-confidence and always sticks to the tried-and-true. He may come to an even deeper realization that he tends to attach responsibility (and sometimes blame) to other people (in this case, Sheila’s relationship with his boss), so that he doesn’t have to confront his own role in blocking new ventures. This important revelation might emerge if Kevin is honest and forthright with Sheila about his concerns, and if Sheila, in turn, lets him know that the two of them can learn together about tackling the finances of their agency (perhaps with some consultation or mentoring from the former board member who previously served as Treasurer).
This same moment of candor (and constructive problem-solving) could yield significant learning for Sheila. She might come to realize that she tends to grow overly dependent on other people for expertise that she could acquire herself. While Sheila certainly needs to delegate specific technical tasks to other members of her staff and to members of her board, it wouldn’t hurt for her to become a little more knowledgeable about all aspects of her agency (including finances), so that she will be less fearful and ultimately less dependent. Sheila might also come to realize, at an even deeper level, that she can ask for help (such as being taught alongside Kevin about the finances of her agency by the former board treasurer).
While this type of learning is not readily acquired in most interpersonal relationships, it can be achieved if the interaction between two people is appreciative in nature. Each person can discover latent competencies and identify previous (forgotten) instances of success that are relevant to this learning (Quad Four material). Sheila, for instance, might recall moments in her own past when she could ask for help, while Kevin could acknowledge his own latent talent as a problem-solver and fast learner.
Outcome Two—Risk-Taking
Knowing that I will get accurate and helpful feedback and that I can readily disclose my fears and failures, the conditions are ripe for making use of the intuitions, dreams, visions and latent memories from Quad Four. I may misread, misinterpret or stumble in making use of this newly uncovered material; however, I have helped to create an interpersonal setting in which it is safe to take a risk.
Sheila and Kevin will undoubtedly make some mistakes in learning alongside one another. Sheila might irritate Kevin by asking too much of him early on in the mutual learning project (falling back on her proclivity to depend too much on people who are responsible for areas in which she has minimal expertise). Conversely, Kevin might be a source of ongoing frustration for Sheila as he waivers in his self-confidence and as he continues to be hesitant about engaging the new knowledge about finances that he has acquired when engaging in the actual job of being Board Treasurer.
