What about Jim’s first and second quad. They haven’t changed at all. Jim is prepared to receive feedback from his boss and his public self will remain the same. However, Jim’s warped window (with two quads changing and two not changing) creates consideration tension in Jim’s internal life and in the relationship that he engages with this boss. First, his quad one becomes quite rigid. Jim is “armed” for combat with a strongly defended persona. His mask is thick and rigid. While he will receive feedback from his boss, Jim is not likely to accept this feedback as “legitimate” (given his lack of trust in his boss’s intentions and even his boss’s competency).
Furthermore, given his large (and growing) third quad that is filled with old ghosts and feelings about his father, the content received by the boss is likely to be re-interpreted and “stored” in a highly distorted manner. Jim is likely to view his boss through lenses from his own childhood. A cycle of self-confirming hypotheses will be established between Jim and his boss. If Jim’s boss is at all sensitive to non-verbal cues (the leaking of quad two material into quad one), then he will conclude that Jim is NOT open to feedback.
The boss’s own level of trust in Jim’s intentions and competency is likely to drop down several notches. Jim will notice the leaking of his boss’s quad two lowering of trust in their relationship. As a result, Jim is himself likely to lower the level of trust in their relationship. A perfect storm is created as a result of the unlinked interplay between Jim’s four quadrants. Warped windows tend to create warped relationships—and a failure for any of us to learn from other people (feedback) or even our own psyche.
2. It takes energy to hide, deny, or be blind to behavior that is involved in interaction.
The energy operating in a window of interaction is often directed not just to hide, deny or be blind to the potential consequence of the interaction, but also to the management and reduction (metabolism) of the anxiety associated with this interaction. Blindness is often partial—at some level we might be aware of what is actually taking place – which helps to trigger the accompanying anxiety. Quadrant Four is often the source of this anxiety, though it might be triggered by an alignment between Quad Four content and content brought to the fore in one of the other quadrants—usually activated via interactions with other people.
Anxiety reduction often takes place by ensuring that specific quadrants are locked in place. This reduction can also take place by selective incorporation of material from another person or group of people as taken in through Quad One. This material is then distorted as it passes into Quads Two and Three. For instance, blame for the anxiety can be placed on the behavior or assumed intentions of another person. Or the anxiety can be exported to other people – they suddenly are the anxious ones. We can now serve as the “helper” who eases their anxiety and resolves their problems.
