How did Molly reaction? She got very angry and accused Doug of abusive behavior. Molly walked out of the room and soon filed a report accusing Doug of hostile behavior. A review took place and churned on for several months. Molly is still serving as manager of the same division. She is now defiant regarding her performance and threatens new actions against anyone seeking to get her fired.
We can apply the New Johari Window – and actually refer back to Joe Lufts original principle in seeking to better understand what took place. While Doug was probably right in putting the “monkey” on Molly’s shoulders, he was forcing her to disclose something about her own behavior (quad three)—and to disclose any of the fears and concerns she has about her own dysfunctional behavior.
As we have noted, the second quad is actually filled with content about which we are at some level aware (opaque). We are rarely completely “blind” about what is actually happening in our relationship with other people. We know at some level that we are not doing a good job. Levels of anxiety are likely to be particularly high for Molly given the long-standing challenges she is facing. Perhaps, when she goes out for “drinks” with her boss, the focus of their conversations may be about reassurance that she is “ok” and should keep trying to “do better.”
Doug’s confrontation evoked this resident anxiety in Molly. While Molly’s anxiety might usually translate (be metabolized) into her “stubbornness” and resistance to change, the challenge mounted by Doug led Molly to translate her anxiety into anger. Doug became the enemy and represented everything that Molly hated (and feared) about people other than her boss who are uncaring and biased in their appraisal of her work. Doug, in particular, is an insensitive “bully” who knew nothing about Molly other than some numbers and brief negative comments contained in an HR file.
Doug was trying to be an effective “change agent” on behalf of Molly. He was looking after her ultimate welfare either as an improved manager or as someone working in a more appropriate position in the corporation. Yet, he created a perfect storm that produces not only Molly’s wrath but also a stressful and time-consuming review of his own performance. Doug was declared “not-guilty” – but the damage was done. He soon asked to transfer to another department in his corporation. Molly remains in her position—as does her boss. Doug actually soon leaves this corporation.
