5. Interpersonal learning means a change has taken place so that quadrant one is larger, and one or more of the other quadrants has grown smaller.
A context must be set for the learning to take place. Sustained interpersonal learning requires meta-level reflections. Two or more people talk about not just the content of their conversations (verbal and nonverbal) and the nature of their relationship, but also the reasons why these specific conversations have taken place and why their relationship has taken on its current structure and dynamics. Meta-level reflections also require a sharing of the emotions, assumptions, hopes and fears associated with the conversations and relationships.
Quad One expands precisely because this reflective process generates new insights arising from both one’s own self-examination and the feedback received from the other person.
Case Example: Gib is the owner of a small business that has gone through hard times in recent years—in large part because the product he has been selling for about a decade is now pretty much “out of date” and faces strong competition in the marketplace from “newer” versions (that essentially were “copies” at first of what he had invented). Gib could have thrown in the towel and retire—for he had set aside funds he earned during the early years precisely in anticipation of this potential decline in business prosperity.
Gib decided that he wanted to venture down a different path. He wanted to shift to a new product line—making use of his still-active inventive mind. The challenge was going to be his work with the loyal employees in his business. They were accustomed to the “normal” way of doing things. Members of the sales department had their usual customers. Production staff were “married” to the machines used to produce the current product.
Folks in finance knew that new product development would be expensive and wondered what would be done with the very costly machines that would suddenly become expendable (“We could do a write-off, but this is still a big financial hit that this company might not be able to absorb”). Most of Gib’s employees had worked with him for many years and greatly admired his brilliance as a designer of innovative products. They now wonder if Gib has lost some of this brilliance and is asking them to steer the ship into very stormy weather.
It seems that Gib has never had to confront widespread resistance on the part of those working in his company. He had always taken pride in the “staying power” of his employees. Most have been with him from the start. Now he has to push them and find new ways to convince his “long-termers” that they can learn and change. His company can survive the storm, but Gib needs “all hands on deck.” He also realizes that he must be open to new learning and that he will have to change (at least temporarily) the ways he relates to members of his company whom he considers “friends” –and even members of a very special family-of-workers.
