Inclusion
This is the In/Out dimension of interpersonal relationships. With regard to stages of interpersonal and group development (that were first introduced by Bruce Tuckman), this concern about inclusion is primary during the initial stage in building a relationship (called “Forming” by Tuckman). The primary focus for people with high needs for inclusion center on being very careful with and concerned about participation in a relationship or membership in a group. Their Quad One is very internally-oriented (Q1-I) with regard to this specific interpersonal need. They want to determine or at least have a major “say” in determining whether or not they are engaged in a particular relationship or with a particular group. This person (and a group at this stage of development) needs to be clear about membership issues. The primary strengths associated with this need are interpersonal sensitivity, selectivity, and thoughtfulness.
Ironically, people with high inclusion needs often have very high standards with regard to the relationships and group they enter. They are looking for something quite specific. On the negative side, those with a high need of inclusion are often highly selective because fundamentally they don’t believe that most people can be trusted (in terms of either competence or intentions). “I see the dark side; hence, I must be cautious about involvement.” This means that high inclusion people can overuse or misuse their strengths by being highly vulnerable, by being loners, or by being timid. They feel quite vulnerable because they have remained “outsiders” for many years; hence, they often don’t know all of the subtle signs of acceptance, nor the strategies to be employed in gaining acceptance.
Control
This need represents the Up/Down dimension of interpersonal relationships. With regard to stages of interpersonal and group development, control is aligned with the conflict-filled second stage of group life (Tuckman’s “Storming” stage). The primary focus associated with this need is very clear: be very careful with and be very concerned about the distribution of power in the relationship or group. A person with high needs for control wants to be clear about authority issues. This person is also internally-oriented (QuadI-1) with reference to the interpersonal need for control. They wish to control when and where they express their need for control (their own control or someone else’s control). Control for these people is a nested and recursive process: they want to control their need for and expression of their need for control.
